The Ramsey Show

“Was I Right To Break Off My Engagement Because of Bad Money Habits?”

November 24, 2025

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  • Breaking off an engagement due to a partner's unaddressed, long-term bad money habits is often a necessary step to avoid future divorce, even if the decision-maker also has financial blind spots. 
  • Couples must align on financial priorities, as pursuing individual 'dreams' (like expensive hobbies or career changes) while carrying significant debt creates marital conflict and undermines collective financial goals. 
  • When dealing with family finances or shared property, verbal agreements lack clarity and should be formalized in writing to prevent future disputes over contributions and equity splits. 
  • Depositing large sums of cash, like $100,000, requires banks to file a report, but the source of funds can typically be explained without legal repercussions. 
  • Voluntarily surrendering a vehicle to the lender does not release the borrower from the debt; they will still be liable for the difference after auction. 
  • Individuals living on minimal income, such as $1,400 Social Security, should prioritize investing their nest egg to outpace inflation rather than hoarding cash out of fear of depletion. 
  • If attending a destination wedding is important, the couple must earn the necessary funds ($2,500) through extra work like DoorDashing, rather than relying on existing income or going into debt, before they have a green light to attend. 
  • A caller pursuing a Nurse Practitioner role while already holding a Doctor of Chiropractic degree should prioritize paying off the remaining $30,000 for the current schooling program by the due date (January 2027) while aggressively paying down $200,000 in existing student loan debt. 
  • A couple with a high mortgage ($4,500/month) and $15,000 in credit card debt should immediately pay off the consumer debt and use excess savings above an emergency fund to pay down the mortgage, exploring refinancing options to lower the payment, as their current housing cost consumes half their $10,000 combined monthly income. 

Segments

Engagement Broken Over Money
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(00:00:36)
  • Key Takeaway: A partner’s inability to provide (maintain employment) is a fundamental red flag that justifies ending an engagement to avoid future financial disaster or divorce.
  • Summary: The caller broke off her engagement due to her fiancé’s overspending and inability to maintain employment over two and a half years. The hosts affirmed her decision, viewing it as dodging a future divorce caused by unaddressed financial habits. The caller is now focused on managing full financial responsibility alone after asking him to move out.
Financial Complicity in Relationship
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(00:04:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Holding a partner accountable for debt habits while simultaneously engaging in personal high-cost debt (like a $50k car) undermines moral authority and financial principles.
  • Summary: The caller financed a new $50,000 Mazda CX70 while criticizing her ex-fiancé’s spending, creating a situation where she was an accomplice to bad money moves. The hosts noted that both parties exhibited poor money habits, making it difficult to solely fault the ex-fiancé. The advice shifted to the caller needing to accept more responsibility for her own financial decisions.
Marital Money Fights
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(00:10:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Spending discretionary ‘fun money’ on a long-term hobby while the spouse is strictly adhering to a debt-free plan causes significant marital friction and is perceived as prioritizing a toy over stability.
  • Summary: A husband spending $10,000 over 17 years to finish a car restoration conflicts with his wife’s strict adherence to the debt-free plan, leading to fights. The couple has $125,000 in non-mortgage debt, and the wife sees the car spending as a distraction from the urgent need for financial security. The hosts advised the husband to either fund the hobby with a second job or halt the project until the debt is cleared.
Family Home Expense Division
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(00:21:56)
  • Key Takeaway: When parents buy out a child’s mortgage stake in a jointly owned home, the ongoing expenses (taxes, insurance) should typically be split based on the two entities involved (Parents’ Entity vs. Child’s Entity), not thirds, unless explicitly agreed otherwise.
  • Summary: A 30-year-old caller living rent-free in a house co-owned with her mother and father argued that house expenses should be split three ways, but the hosts countered that the parents function as one financial entity. The caller’s equity percentage upon sale was calculated to be around 18% based on her initial down payment and mortgage payments made. The hosts strongly advised the caller to move out to simplify her life and avoid further entanglement in messy family financial arrangements.
Budgeting Buffer vs. Debt Snowball
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(00:33:22)
  • Key Takeaway: If a budget shows a surplus but the caller consistently dips into the $1,000 starter emergency fund between paychecks, the budget line items are inaccurate and require an immediate audit to find the true money leaks.
  • Summary: The caller is cycling money by borrowing from his $1,000 emergency fund to cover shortfalls, despite his budget showing a surplus for the debt snowball. The hosts suggested that the budget needs an audit to correct underestimated variable expenses like groceries. Tracking transactions in real-time using the EveryDollar app can help identify and correct these spending leaks before they necessitate dipping into the starter emergency fund.
Debt for Education While Buying House
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(00:36:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Couples with high income ($165k) who are debt-free should prioritize cash-flowing education expenses over taking on new debt, especially when major life goals like buying a house and starting a family are imminent.
  • Summary: A couple on Baby Step 4, earning $165,000 combined, debated whether the wife should take on $50,000 in debt for a three-year counseling degree. The hosts advised against debt, suggesting they could cash flow the tuition by redirecting their current debt-paying margin toward savings. They stressed prioritizing the house purchase and starting a family before adding new debt or career uncertainty.
Career Dreams vs. Financial Reality
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(00:44:04)
  • Key Takeaway: A spouse’s dream career change that involves a significant income reduction (e.g., manager to apprentice barber) is financially irresponsible when the couple is already carrying debt and the other spouse is simultaneously incurring debt for their own education.
  • Summary: The husband wants to quit his $70K management job to pursue barber school ($7K+ cost) while the wife plans to take on $30K debt for a degree promising a $90K salary later. The hosts warned that combining debt for education with one spouse drastically cutting income is a recipe for disaster, suggesting they must delay the dreams until the debt is cleared and education is cash-flowed.
Depositing Large Cash Sums
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(00:54:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Cash savings accumulated over decades (like $100k saved under a mattress for 25 years) can generally be deposited into a bank without immediate IRS flags, provided the owner has a plausible explanation for the source of funds.
  • Summary: An 82-year-old widow inherited over $100,000 in cash saved by her late husband over 25 years, alongside $400,000 in CDs, living on $1,400/month Social Security. Her primary fear was triggering IRS scrutiny upon depositing the cash. The hosts advised her that since the money was saved over a long period from known income sources (implied by her other assets), she should be able to deposit it.
Cash Deposit and IRS Reporting
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(00:54:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Banks are legally required to file a report for cash deposits over $10,000, but the source of funds can typically be explained simply.
  • Summary: A caller inquired about depositing $100,000 in cash and the potential IRS scrutiny. The hosts clarified that banks must file a report for transactions over $10,000, but the source of funds can be stated, such as savings from a spouse over many years. The hosts prioritized investing the caller’s $400,000 in CDs to combat inflation rather than leaving it idle.
Voluntary Repossession Advice
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(00:59:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Voluntary repossession is discouraged because the lender will still pursue the borrower for the deficiency balance.
  • Summary: A caller with a car worth significantly less than the $12,600 owed asked about voluntary surrender. The hosts advised against it because the lender sells the car at auction and seeks repayment for the remaining difference. The caller, who is on Baby Step 2, was advised to use savings for the necessary $2,500 repair or explore selling the car, as they can only afford the minimum monthly payment.
Social Media Debt Reaction
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(01:05:22)
  • Key Takeaway: Justification language like ‘it’s minimal’ or ‘it’s 0%’ often masks the true weight of crippling consumer debt.
  • Summary: The hosts reacted to a viral street interview showing high levels of consumer debt among young people, noting the use of minimizing language to rationalize debt. One individual had $180,000 in debt, including a $60,000 car loan with a $1,200 payment, often financed using promotional 0% interest offers. The hosts emphasized that debt, regardless of the initial interest rate, must be paid off to avoid future financial strain.
Moving to Start a Business
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(01:12:19)
  • Key Takeaway: Pursuing business mentorship and on-the-job training at age 18 without debt is a low-risk, high-reward strategy.
  • Summary: An 18-year-old caller with $25,000 saved planned to move to South Carolina to apprentice under a successful family member while building a mobile car detailing business. The hosts strongly supported this plan, advising the caller to cash-flow all expenses and defer college, as the practical experience is invaluable. They stressed that the key is to avoid taking on any debt for equipment or living expenses.
Handling Alimony in Joint Finances
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(01:15:47)
  • Key Takeaway: Alimony and child support payments should be mentally treated as a deduction from income before combining finances into a joint budget.
  • Summary: A caller preparing to marry a man with $300,000 in alimony obligations asked if the payment should be joint or individual responsibility. The hosts suggested treating the payment as a pre-budget deduction from his income, similar to a 401k contribution. They noted that the debt will affect their combined financial options until paid off, which the couple plans to accelerate by selling his current home.
Insurance Payout After Total Loss
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(01:20:57)
  • Key Takeaway: Do not take on new debt for a replacement vehicle while waiting for an insurance payout from a totaled car.
  • Summary: A caller whose recently paid-off car was totaled planned to finance a new car while waiting for the $30,000–$40,000 insurance check. The hosts advised against incurring new debt, suggesting the caller rent a car temporarily and wait for the cash settlement. If the payout exceeds the cost of a needed replacement vehicle (e.g., $20,000), the excess funds should be used to attack other debts.
Unfiled Taxes on Rental Income
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(01:25:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Ignoring significant tax liabilities, especially with substantial assets like real estate, invites severe consequences from the IRS.
  • Summary: A successful real estate investor with 27 paid-off rental properties had not filed federal taxes in years, potentially owing hundreds of thousands based on his reported income. The hosts strongly urged him to immediately hire a CPA or Enrolled Agent to get current and pay the liability, suggesting he liquidate assets if necessary. They warned that neglecting the IRS is the most dangerous financial mistake one can make.
Mandated Home Repairs on Tight Budget
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(01:35:41)
  • Key Takeaway: When facing a large, mandated expense without savings, the options are aggressively increasing income or selling the asset to avoid debt.
  • Summary: A family with five young children was mandated by the state to pay $30,000 for lead abatement within a year, threatening eviction if they failed. Since they had minimal monthly margin and the husband was on-call 24/7, increasing income was difficult, and debt was ruled out. The hosts suggested they explore selling the home, despite the equity loss, as the only viable path if income cannot be substantially increased.
Debt Accumulation Despite High Income
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(01:46:32)
  • Key Takeaway: High income does not prevent debt accumulation without a strict budget and mutual agreement on spending priorities.
  • Summary: A caller earning over $11,000 per month admitted to having $13,000 in new debt from a home repair, despite previously paying off consumer debt and having some savings. The hosts pointed out that the couple lacks a clear budget, leading to impulsive spending like booking a $2,500 destination wedding. They advised the couple to immediately create a budget, attack the $13,000 debt aggressively, and save for the trip rather than going into debt for it.
Destination Wedding Funding
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(01:54:28)
  • Key Takeaway: Funds for non-essential, upcoming events like destination weddings must be earned debt-free through extra work if the couple lacks a clear financial game plan.
  • Summary: Attending a destination wedding within six months requires earning the $2,500 needed debt-free, possibly through gig work like DoorDashing. Lack of clarity and a game plan regarding finances suggests the timeline for achieving financial goals will be extended. The green light for the trip is contingent upon becoming completely debt-free and saving up for it.
Ramsey Solutions Promotion
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(01:55:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Ramsey Solutions is running a Black Friday sale featuring books like The Total Money Makeover for $12 and deals starting as low as $6.99.
  • Summary: The Black Friday sale offers deep discounts on best-selling books, such as The Total Money Makeover and Baby Steps Millionaires, priced at $12. Shoppers can find gifts for as low as $6.99 to avoid wrecking their budget during holiday shopping. These deals are time-limited, directing listeners to ramseysolutions.com/slash store.
Scripture and Judgment Quote
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(01:56:28)
  • Key Takeaway: Scripture warns that the measure used to judge others will ultimately be the measure used for oneself.
  • Summary: The scripture of the day is Matthew 7:2, stating that judgment given to others will be returned to the judge. Mark Twain’s quote suggests that good judgment is derived from experience, much of which stems from prior bad judgment. Learning from bad judgment is the necessary step to achieve good judgment.
Chiropractor’s School Debt Strategy
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(01:56:55)
  • Key Takeaway: A caller with $200,000 in student loan debt and $35,000 saved should cash flow the remaining $30,000 schooling balance and aggressively pay down the existing debt.
  • Summary: The caller, a chiropractor pursuing a Nurse Practitioner certification, earns $8,000 monthly and is currently cash flowing his schooling payments. The advice is to keep the $35,000 savings, pay the $30,000 schooling balance when due in 2027, and immediately allocate about $4,000 monthly toward the $200,000 student loan debt. The caller should inquire if paying the remaining $30,000 balance upfront offers any discount.
Mortgage Paydown vs. Savings
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(02:02:17)
  • Key Takeaway: A couple earning $10,000 monthly with a $4,500 mortgage payment and $100,000 saved should eliminate $15,000 in credit card debt and apply the remaining savings toward the mortgage principal before refinancing.
  • Summary: The caller’s $15,000 in credit card debt, costing $500 monthly in payments, must be paid off immediately using the savings, leaving $85,000. The high mortgage payment consumes half of their $10,000 combined income, making debt reduction critical. They should pay down the mortgage principal and then contact Churchill Mortgage to explore refinancing options to lower the payment, aiming for a payment closer to $3,000.