anything goes with emma chamberlain

the lies i tell myself

October 19, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Self-deception is an inevitable, natural human coping mechanism for dealing with difficult realities, but it is almost never beneficial. 
  • The goal for managing self-lies, as discussed in "the lies i tell myself" on *anything goes with emma chamberlain*, should be minimizing them through constant self-reflection, rather than complete elimination. 
  • Many common self-deceptions, such as procrastination disguised as inspiration or denying hurt feelings to avoid confrontation, stem from a desire to avoid discomfort or maintain a desired self-image. 
  • The host struggles with a persistent lack of feeling accomplishment, realizing that seeking the emotion itself prevents its attainment, suggesting a need to decouple task completion from emotional reward. 
  • A significant lie the host tells herself is believing she is dying in moments of physical discomfort (like a cough or while flying) or perceived danger, illustrating how anxiety manifests as catastrophic thinking. 
  • The host exhibits a hypocritical pattern regarding intuition, actively ignoring subtle, soft gut feelings while obsessing over loud, scary intrusive thoughts and mislabeling them as premonitions. 

Segments

Lies About Procrastination and Inspiration
Copied to clipboard!
(00:04:48)
  • Key Takeaway: The host often lies to herself by framing web surfing for inspiration as productive work when it is actually procrastination driven by boredom with deep thinking.
  • Summary: The host justifies surfing the web on platforms like Pinterest and YouTube as gathering inspiration from the zeitgeist, but admits this is often a form of procrastination when bored of thinking. She distinguishes between intentional research and mindlessly scrolling, noting that productive, mindless tasks like chores are better alternatives when avoiding thought. This lie prevents her from engaging in the necessary, albeit boring, process of deep idea generation.
Denying Hurt Feelings to Avoid Confrontation
Copied to clipboard!
(00:11:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Lying about hurt feelings to avoid confrontation, especially in smooth relationships, builds resentment and prevents necessary growth and open dialogue.
  • Summary: The host admits to lying to herself that she is unaffected by negative actions to avoid confronting people, particularly those with whom the relationship has been flawless. Accepting that one is upset is easier than convincing oneself they are not upset when they are, as the latter creates two hurdles: acceptance and confrontation. Avoiding the first conflict in a relationship, which breaks the initial ‘seal’ of perfection, is often the hardest part of maintaining honest communication.
Manifestation Jinxing Superstition
Copied to clipboard!
(00:15:20)
  • Key Takeaway: An illogical, anxiety-rooted lie convinces the host that manifesting a desired outcome will jinx it, or conversely, hoping something bad won’t happen will cause it.
  • Summary: This lie is rooted in OCD or anxiety, causing the brain to fight against the host’s actual spiritual belief in manifestation. She combats this by forcing herself to notice when the feared outcome does not occur (e.g., an airplane not crashing after she prayed against it). A key realization is that the universe does not revolve around her, and her thoughts do not dictate unrelated outcomes for everyone.
Ignoring Bad Gut Feelings About People
Copied to clipboard!
(00:20:41)
  • Key Takeaway: The desire to like people and avoid conflict leads the host to dishonor initial uneasy gut feelings about new acquaintances, often resulting in later regret.
  • Summary: Despite getting a weird feeling about someone, the host lies to herself that she likes them due to good banter or style, ignoring her intuition. She often convinces herself she is being paranoid or judgmental when her gut feeling is usually accurate regarding trustworthiness. This tendency to give chances leads to oversharing vulnerable information, which is later regretted when the initial uneasy feeling is validated.
Solitary Creativity Myth
Copied to clipboard!
(00:41:28)
  • Key Takeaway: The lie that 95% solitude is necessary for creativity is harmful because it leads to creative emptiness and ignores the value of collaboration and lived experience.
  • Summary: While some solitude is crucial for the host’s solitary creative tasks like recording and editing, taking it to an extreme stifles creativity by cutting off external inspiration. Spending too much time alone prevents the accumulation of lived experiences necessary for generating new ideas. This workaholic tendency to isolate ultimately leads to running out of creative fuel until she recharges by engaging with others.
Instagram Posting Boundaries Lie
Copied to clipboard!
(00:45:21)
  • Key Takeaway: The host consistently lies to herself that opening Instagram just to post will not result in extended, anxiety-inducing scrolling, even when setting timers.
  • Summary: The intention to quickly post, read a few comments, and immediately close the app is frequently broken by scrolling for an hour or more, especially during busy times like Fashion Week. She acknowledges that even setting a timer for scrolling is often a lie she tells herself in the moment. The key is recognizing that opening the app almost guarantees some level of unproductive scrolling.
Feeling Universally Hated
Copied to clipboard!
(00:50:11)
  • Key Takeaway: Due to the unnatural exposure of public life, the host subconsciously internalizes the inevitable negative opinions as proof that everyone hates her.
  • Summary: Public figures experience an unnatural volume of opinions, leading the brain to struggle with the constant exposure to negativity. Even when receiving positive feedback, the mean comments stick subconsciously, convincing her that she is generally despised by humanity. This feeling is common among public figures, even beloved ones, demonstrating a psychological reaction to constant scrutiny.
Productivity and Rest Denial
Copied to clipboard!
(00:55:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The workaholic lie that she hasn’t been productive enough leads to denying necessary rest, ultimately resulting in burnout cycles that negate long-term output.
  • Summary: The host admits she is insatiable and rarely satisfied, constantly concluding she hasn’t done enough, even when deadlines are met by the end of the day. She lies to herself that she is lazy rather than tired or burnt out, pushing past the need for rest. This pattern of overworking followed by burnout likely results in the same monthly output as a more balanced approach.
Struggle for Accomplishment
Copied to clipboard!
(00:59:17)
  • Key Takeaway: The pursuit of the feeling of accomplishment is self-defeating, necessitating a shift to completing tasks based on defined criteria rather than emotional reward.
  • Summary: The host required reaching 17 lies on her list before feeling accomplished, demonstrating a pattern of constantly needing more to feel satisfied. She concludes that if she seeks the feeling of accomplishment, she will never reach it. The proposed solution is to remove the emotion, setting a concrete endpoint (like reaching 10 lies) and accepting that the feeling of accomplishment will not follow.
The Lie of Dying
Copied to clipboard!
(01:00:44)
  • Key Takeaway: Anxiety frequently manifests as the lie that one is actively dying in the moment, often triggered by minor physical symptoms or common situations like air travel.
  • Summary: The host frequently convinces herself she is dying from collapsing lungs due to a cough, plane crashes, or food poisoning, despite objective evidence (like perfect oxygen levels) proving otherwise. Parents remind her that humans are shockingly resilient, and the ability to walk and talk confirms one is not actively dying. This pattern highlights how anxiety distorts immediate physical reality.
Misinterpreting Gut Feelings
Copied to clipboard!
(01:02:05)
  • Key Takeaway: The brain can become hypocritical by confusing intense, scary intrusive thoughts with genuine premonitions while simultaneously ignoring subtle, abstract intuition.
  • Summary: The host confuses intense, scary intrusive thoughts about tragic events (like explosions or death) with genuine premonitions, obsessing over them. Conversely, she actively ignores subtle, soft gut feelings about people or situations, which aligns more closely with the definition of true intuition. Intuition is described as subtle and abstract, serving as a spiritual guide, whereas the perceived premonitions are loud and intense.
Concluding Thoughts and Practice
Copied to clipboard!
(01:04:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Facing the lies one tells oneself is an ongoing, imperfect practice that is worth starting immediately for personal growth.
  • Summary: The host encourages listeners to face their self-deceptions head-on, acknowledging it is a practice that will never be perfected. She plans to engage in mindless activities to rest her complicated brain after this deep reflection. New episodes of ‘anything goes with emma chamberlain’ release every Thursday and Sunday, available on all podcast platforms, with video on YouTube and Spotify.