The Toast

May The Dumbest Faithful Win: Monday, January 12th, 2026

January 12, 2026

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  • The hosts spent a significant portion of the opening discussing their weekend consumption of media, including watching *The Golden Globes*, the new *Shahs of Sunset* spin-off, and the first three episodes of *The Traitors* Season 4. 
  • The hosts praised Nikki Glazer's hosting of *The Golden Globes* monologue for striking a perfect balance between snark and inoffensiveness, suggesting she should host again. 
  • The discussion about the circus experience highlighted that the modern Ringling Brothers show lacks the traditional spectacle (like clowns) and compelling music (like *The Greatest Showman* soundtrack) needed to fully entertain modern audiences, especially children. 
  • The hosts briefly discussed Golden Globe winners, noting Jean Smart's win and the success of the show *Adolescence* (likely *Anatomy of a Scandal* or similar, based on context clues like 'one take' filming), before pivoting to personal anecdotes about parenting and AI. 
  • Jennifer Lawrence is facing backlash for rehoming her dog after it bit her child, but the hosts defended her decision, emphasizing that giving a dog to family is not true 'rehoming' and normalizing the shift in priorities after having children. 
  • The *The Traitors* Season 4 recap highlighted the hosts' enjoyment of the game, their surprise at certain cast choices (like Lisa Rinna and Donna as secret traitors), and their belief that the game structure currently favors the least skilled or quietest players over those who actively try to play strategically, like Michael Rapaport and Ron. 

Segments

Weekend Media Consumption Recap
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(00:00:03)
  • Key Takeaway: Hosts watched The Golden Globes, Shahs of Sunset spin-off, and The Traitors Season 4.
  • Summary: The hosts detailed their weekend viewing, which included watching The Golden Globes and catching up on reality television like The Traitors. One host expressed strong opinions on the new Shahs of Sunset spin-off, criticizing its ‘Valley edit’ compared to the original show. The conversation also touched upon the movie People We Meet on Vacation, which one host found ’extremely mid’ despite enjoying the film adaptation.
People We Meet on Vacation Review
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(00:03:45)
  • Key Takeaway: The movie People We Meet on Vacation was criticized for its implausible premise of characters being unable to identify mutual romantic feelings.
  • Summary: The movie People We Meet on Vacation was deemed ‘stupid’ because the characters, being 30, could not identify obvious mutual feelings, wasting others’ time. The book’s author, Emily Henry, was labeled an ‘industry plant’ whose work appeals to ‘mid, low IQ individuals’ who enjoy less mentally taxing reads. Despite this, the film adaptation itself was found to be ‘adorable’ when judged purely as a movie, separate from the book.
Netflix Lighting Phenomenon
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(00:05:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Modern films are characterized by ‘Netflix lighting,’ an aesthetic that makes them look like TV shows.
  • Summary: The concept of ‘Netflix lighting’ describes a modern cinematic aesthetic where all new movies share a similar, high-quality but standardized look, resembling television productions. The hosts humorously contrasted this with their podcast’s lighting, calling it ‘startup industrious maverick lighting.’ They also praised the casting in People We Meet on Vacation for using unknown, good actors rather than social media influencers.
Live Action Rapunzel Casting
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(00:07:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Disney cast a relative unknown as Rapunzel and Milo Mannheim (known from Dancing with the Stars) as Flynn Rider for the live-action Rapunzel.
  • Summary: The casting for the live-action Rapunzel was announced, featuring a no-name actress as the lead and Milo Mannheim, known from Dancing with the Stars and the Zombies franchise, as Flynn Rider. The hosts noted that Mannheim was credited specifically by his Dancing with the Stars fame in the announcement. The segment included a brief clarification that the word ’elk’ was being intentionally used instead of the correct word ‘ilk’.
Golden Globes 2026 Overview
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(00:10:10)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts watched enough of The Golden Globes to confirm wins for Timothy Chalamet and the loss of Hannah Waddingham and Mark Ruffalo.
  • Summary: The host committed to watching The Golden Globes for work, noting that Timothy Chalamet won his category, which was a positive outcome for her. She expressed satisfaction that Hannah Waddingham lost, calling it a win for ’non-insufferable people everywhere.’ The animated film K-pop Demon Hunters won Best Animated Film, leading to a discussion about its cultural impact and the emotional acceptance speech given by its representative.
Circus Experience and Critique
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(00:13:30)
  • Key Takeaway: The Ringling Brothers circus in Miami was under-attended and lacked compelling music or traditional acts like clowns, suggesting the format needs evolution.
  • Summary: A recent trip to the Ringling Brothers circus revealed the arena was less than 50% full, and the experience was marred by a lack of engaging music, specifically noting the absence of The Greatest Showman soundtrack. The hosts concluded that ‘woke culture’ has ruined the circus by removing animal acts, but the replacement acts (robot dogs, unicycles) failed to fully captivate the audience, especially children who preferred watching the large screen. A standout positive was an exceptionally delicious, salty, soft hot pretzel from the Kasaya Arena.
Sponsor Reads and Health Focus
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(00:22:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Bearbells protein bars are the number one protein bar in the U.S., and O Positive offers a PMS Relief Gummy vitamin.
  • Summary: Bearbells protein bars were highly recommended for New Year’s resolutions, boasting 15-20 grams of protein and being the top-selling bar in the U.S. O Positive promotes its Flow PMS Relief Gummies, a plant-based daily vitamin targeting symptoms like bloating and mood swings, which shows noticeable benefits within two menstrual cycles. Quince was praised for offering high-quality staples, like 100% European linen pants, at reasonable prices with free shipping and 365-day returns.
Golden Globes Winners Analysis
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(00:27:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Ricky Gervais won Best Stand-Up Comedy Special, and Amy Schumer won the inaugural Golden Globe for Best Podcast, despite the category being dominated by interview shows.
  • Summary: The hosts noted that the Golden Globe podcast category was exclusively comprised of interview shows, with Amy Schumer winning over her ex-husband Will Arnett’s Smartless. Ricky Gervais won the Stand-Up Comedy Special award, though the hosts felt the nominated specials were not the most talked-about of the year. Hamnet won Best Drama, beating out Frankenstein, and Sinners won the Box Office Achievement award, prompting a joke about Ariana Grande’s reaction to a jab about Wicked 2.
Golden Globes Recap & Parenting Realizations
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(00:42:44)
  • Key Takeaway: The realization that layering baby clothes, specifically an undershirt beneath pajamas, is unnecessary for an eight-month-old in hot weather, freeing the host from perceived parental mandates.
  • Summary: Jean Smart won an award, and the show Adolescence swept several categories, including wins for the child actor and the father. One host experienced a freeing realization that they did not need to put an undershirt on their eight-month-old baby under pajamas due to the heat in Florida. This realization came after feeling overly constrained by perceived rules regarding infant layering.
Alix Earle’s Mother’s Diagnosis
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(00:45:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Alix Earle’s mother, Alyssa, was diagnosed with breast cancer while Alix was competing on Dancing with the Stars during a grueling schedule amidst her breakup with Braxton.
  • Summary: Alix Earle revealed her mother, Alyssa, has breast cancer, sharing supportive videos of her and her sister Ashton by their mother’s side. The diagnosis occurred while Alix was simultaneously managing the demanding schedule of Dancing with the Stars and dealing with a recent breakup. The hosts expressed sadness and wished the family the best, noting the difficulty of navigating such news during a high-stress period.
Jennifer Lawrence Dog Controversy
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(00:47:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Jennifer Lawrence is receiving backlash for rehoming her chihuahua, Princess Pippi Longstocking, after it bit her son, though the hosts argue the move to her parents’ home is not true rehoming and that changing priorities after having children is normal.
  • Summary: Jennifer Lawrence is being called ‘awful’ for rehoming her dog after it bit her child, a decision she made after her priorities shifted post-childbirth. The hosts strongly defended her, noting that giving the dog to her parents is not the same as abandoning it, and they support normalizing conversations about dogs no longer fitting into a family structure.
AI Customer Service Experience
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(00:55:53)
  • Key Takeaway: The host had a surprisingly pleasant and efficient experience scheduling an AC repair in New York entirely through an AI chatbot, noting its lifelike voice and competence.
  • Summary: The host successfully booked an air conditioning repair appointment in New York using what they realized was an AI chatbot, noting the conversation was pleasant and efficient. The only error was a misspelling of the host’s last name in the confirmation email, leading to a discussion on how AI improving quality of life is acceptable despite job loss concerns. The segment concluded with the acknowledgment that AI, while improving, is still prone to errors, such as sending the host to a closed store previously.
Taylor Swift Sourdough Gifts
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(00:57:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Taylor Swift gifted her famous homemade sourdough loaves, packaged in recognizable Amazon to-go bags, to celebrity friends like the Haim sisters and Somber.
  • Summary: Taylor Swift was spotted gifting her homemade sourdough loaves to friends, including the Haim sisters and Somber, who was noted as the artist behind the song ‘Sombarini.’ The bread was packaged in generic brown paper bags often associated with Amazon, leading to a discussion on whether this signals wastefulness or simply convenience for a high-volume baker. The hosts also performed their original song, ‘Toast,’ during this segment.
The Traitors Season 4 Recap
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(01:05:11)
  • Key Takeaway: The game structure of The Traitors currently penalizes active, smart players, suggesting the winner will likely be the quietest or seemingly ‘dumbest’ faithful, exemplified by the hosts’ defense of Ron’s evidence-based accusations.
  • Summary: The hosts compared The Traitors to the game ‘The Faker,’ noting that intelligent players like Tiffany are being misguided, while those who are quiet or seemingly unintelligent, like Rob, are playing effectively. Lisa Rinna was praised as a surprisingly good traitor, contrasting with Candace, whose obviousness (like the conga line incident) was deemed terrible traitor play. The segment concluded with speculation that Eric or Kristen might be murdered next, and a call for the show to cast the hosts.