This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

#633 - Trevor Wallace

January 12, 2026

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  • The conversation touches on the difficulty of delegating creative work due to the high standard of personal execution, exemplified by both Theo Von and Trevor Wallace struggling to trust others with edits. 
  • The hosts discuss the modern dating landscape, noting that the saturation of shared social circles makes finding a spouse potentially harder due to friends having dated potential partners. 
  • The discussion pivots to the prevalence and ethics of online content creation, specifically mentioning the trend of OnlyFans bootcamps and the debate over appropriate ages for adult entertainment participation. 
  • The conversation featured a lengthy, explicit discussion about the logistics and timing of male ejaculation, including a tangent on the speed of ejaculation (around 27-28 mph). 
  • Trevor Wallace shared an anecdote about a recent family trip to Kenya, highlighting the surreal experience of seeing wildlife up close and appreciating the strong sense of community observed outside of tourist areas. 
  • The hosts discussed the bizarre trend of online content monetization, referencing examples like live streams of security camera footage and the potential for prisoners like 6ix9ine to host jailhouse podcasts. 
  • The conversation explored the concept of 'Cognify,' a futuristic prison system using AI and brain implants to replace long sentences with brief, intense memory imprinting of the victim's emotional impact. 
  • The speakers debated the practical and ethical implications of such technology, including its potential for abuse, affordability, and application to white-collar crimes like tax fraud. 
  • The latter part of the discussion shifted to the idea of organizing prison gangs into competitive sports leagues (like an XFL for inmates) as a potential source of unity and entertainment for both inmates and viewers. 

Segments

Netflix Movie Promotion
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Netflix’s new movie, The Rip, starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, premieres January 16th.
  • Summary: The movie The Rip features Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as Miami cops questioning their morality while pursuing $20 million. The ensemble cast also includes Tayana Taylor, Stephen Yoon, and Kyle Chandler. The film is described as an edge-of-your-seat thriller that keeps the audience guessing until the end.
Podcast Merch Plug
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(00:00:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Holiday merchandise, including the Bobby Collab and Gang Gang collegiate hoodies and totes, remains available at theovonstore.com.
  • Summary: Theo Von reminds listeners that merchandise from the holiday season is still available for purchase. Specific items mentioned are the Bobby Collab and Gang Gang collegiate hoodies and totes. All merchandise can be viewed at the official store website.
Guest Introduction and Tour
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(00:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Trevor Wallace, guest on This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, is promoting his current stand-up tour, “Alpha Beta Male.”
  • Summary: The guest is identified as Trevor Wallace, a stand-up comedian, content creator, and host of the Stiff Socks podcast. He is currently on his “Alpha Beta Male” tour. Theo Von expresses gratitude for Trevor Wallace’s return to the show.
Poaching Staff Discussion
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(00:01:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Mr. Beast’s team is known for actively recruiting the best talent in the industry, leading to staff poaching.
  • Summary: The conversation begins with a discussion about poaching staff, specifically noting that Mr. Beast’s organization hires top-tier talent. The difficulty of finding reliable editors who can execute simple tasks correctly is highlighted. The origin of the poached staff is traced back to the Greensboro area near ECU.
Girlfriend Glimpses Etiquette
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(00:02:51)
  • Key Takeaway: There is an unwritten rule suggesting two ‘free glimpses’ of a partner’s attractive girlfriend are acceptable, provided they are above the clavicle.
  • Summary: The hosts use Monopoly’s ‘get out of jail free’ card analogy to define acceptable levels of looking at a partner’s girlfriend. Glimpses should be limited to two and ideally focused on non-revealing areas like the hairline or clavicles. Looking at the partner’s wife’s breasts at a wedding is deemed disrespectful.
OnlyFans Content Reality
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(00:04:10)
  • Key Takeaway: Content posted on OnlyFans, even if seemingly tame, often has explicit versions available elsewhere online, sometimes featuring poor production quality like lack of AC or inappropriate music.
  • Summary: The reality of OnlyFans content is discussed, noting that explicit material often circulates beyond the paywall. Common production flaws include poor lighting, lack of air conditioning leading to sweatiness, and the use of inappropriate background music like Wiz Khalifa’s ‘Young, Wild, and Free.’
Post-Orgasm Regret and Meditation
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(00:05:10)
  • Key Takeaway: The immediate onset of regret following ejaculation is described as an instant ‘handoff’ that meditation can help mitigate by creating a pause before reaction.
  • Summary: The feeling of shame immediately following masturbation is described as an instant consequence. Meditation is suggested as a tool to create a moment of peace, allowing for a less reactive decision-making process before succumbing to the urge. This pause helps avoid the subsequent feeling of regret.
Hotel Room Discomfort and Winter Heat
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(00:06:50)
  • Key Takeaway: Hotel rooms often feel awkward and uncomfortable compared to home, and winter heating systems are frustratingly inconsistent.
  • Summary: Hotel rooms lose their appeal over time because they lack the comfort of home, leading to awkward feelings. The inconsistent nature of hotel AC, which constantly cycles on and off, is compared to being ’edged.’ Winter heating is also criticized for being too hot initially and then disappearing too quickly.
Ramping Up After Breaks
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(00:07:53)
  • Key Takeaway: The transition back into a busy schedule after a period of rest is difficult because the year ramps up quickly before one has fully relaxed.
  • Summary: The calendar dictates a fast return to work immediately after a break, preventing a full decompression. To truly enjoy a week off, one might need two or three days before and after the vacation just to build up and wind down. This rapid cycle makes it hard to calm down before the next busy period starts.
Dating Pool Saturation
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(00:08:43)
  • Key Takeaway: In small towns, the dating pool can become so saturated that individuals might have to cycle back to dating people they dated years prior.
  • Summary: The issue of dating people friends have already dated is dependent on the town’s population size. In very small towns, people may eventually ‘run it back’ with past partners. This saturation is cited as a reason why some men randomly relocate to new areas like Oregon to expand their dating options.
Pre-Swiping on Dating Apps
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(00:09:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Some people engage in ‘meal prepping swipes’ by setting up dates in the next city before they even arrive, treating dating app usage like scheduling Uber Eats.
  • Summary: Comedians on tour observe that some peers are highly strategic, setting up dates in upcoming cities before traveling there. This behavior is likened to ordering food delivery in advance. This proactive approach suggests a highly organized, almost transactional view of meeting romantic partners.
Trisha Paytas Political Run
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(00:10:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Online personality Trisha Paytas is running for office in California with the slogan, “California could be good.”
  • Summary: Trisha Paytas, known for YouTube and TikTok, announced a run for Congress, initially as a write-in candidate. Her children have pop culture-themed names, including Elvis and Aquaman. Her stated priority is addressing mental health issues, and her slogan suggests a moderate political stance.
Political Figure Performance
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(00:11:42)
  • Key Takeaway: The difficulty of high-profile political roles, like the presidency, is illustrated by comparing President Biden’s perceived struggles to an aging athlete like Aaron Rodgers.
  • Summary: The pressure of the presidency is deemed immense, with constant public scrutiny. Biden’s performance is compared to an aging athlete who is still playing but would rather be elsewhere, like on a beach doing ayahuasca. The incident involving the President falling off a bicycle is suggested as a potential orchestrated event.
Age Requirements in Entertainment
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(00:15:32)
  • Key Takeaway: Trisha Paytas’s stated policy goal is raising the age requirement for participating in adult entertainment to 25, aligning it with the age when the brain is fully developed.
  • Summary: The discussion returns to Trisha Paytas’s policy proposal to raise the age limit for adult entertainment participation to 25. This age is suggested because it allows for better understanding before committing to putting content online. This contrasts with the current legal reality where one can show nudity online before legally being able to buy alcohol.
OnlyFans Course Controversy
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(00:16:46)
  • Key Takeaway: A controversy exists around a $6,000 OnlyFans course being sold by a creator, leading to backlash from peers who feel the information should be free.
  • Summary: A creator is selling an expensive course on how to market and run an OnlyFans presence effectively, drawing criticism from others in the industry. The backlash centers on charging a high price for information that some believe should be shared freely. The hosts acknowledge that while it is the creator’s choice, 18 is a young age for such commitments.
Comedians Evolving into Bosses
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(00:20:49)
  • Key Takeaway: A significant, unexpected challenge in modern comedy is the necessity of becoming an employer and learning effective communication as one’s career scales.
  • Summary: Scaling a comedy career forces creators to hire staff, which requires learning management and communication skills that are not inherent to stand-up. The difficulty lies in articulating exact creative visions to others, often resulting in having to redo the work oneself. This transition from performer to boss is described as the ‘worst’ unexpected part of success.
Fame and Paranoia on Tour
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(00:24:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Increased fame leads to psychological adjustments, including paranoia and the need for security, especially when traveling alone after simple activities like eating.
  • Summary: Being extremely well-known creates a conflict between wanting personal space and the reality of constant public recognition. This visibility can lead to feeling paranoid when traveling solo, even after mundane activities. The psychological adjustment required to handle being constantly filmed or recognized is a significant part of the career evolution.
McRib Ingredients Lawsuit
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(00:39:03)
  • Key Takeaway: McDonald’s faces a class-action lawsuit alleging the McRib sandwich does not contain actual rib meat, but rather restructured pork parts like heart and tripe.
  • Summary: The McRib’s composition is under scrutiny, with claims that it is made from restructured pork parts instead of true rib meat. This deception is noted as a long-standing cultural issue in American fast food. The return of the McRib is humorously linked to a Groundhog Day-like cycle for Americans.
Pre-Sex Food Avoidance Strategies
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(00:46:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Some individuals intentionally overeat bread or high-carb foods after self-pleasure to induce ‘post-nut regret’ and curb the desire for immediate sexual activity.
  • Summary: One strategy discussed for managing unsolicited sexual encounters is preemptively eating large amounts of bread or rolls to delay arousal. This is framed as creating ‘post-nut regret’ without engaging in sex. Other foods mentioned for this purpose include burger patties and chicken wings to avoid feeling too full during potential intimacy.
Unusual Pre-Sex Meal Memories
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(00:47:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Trevor Wallace recalls a specific instance of eating hot dogs and chicken wings before a Billy Strings concert, which resulted in severe digestive distress upon arriving home to a date.
  • Summary: The discussion pivoted to memorable meals eaten before romantic encounters, contrasting with Theo Von’s lack of specific memories. Wallace detailed consuming hot dogs and chicken wings while day-drinking, followed by an edible, leading to an intense need to use the restroom right before a woman arrived.
Trailer Bathroom Incident Story
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(00:49:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Trevor Wallace recounted a loud, impactful bathroom incident in a thin-walled motorhome trailer while with Theo Von and others at a festival in Canada.
  • Summary: Wallace described a moment at a Canadian festival where his restroom use in a thin-walled trailer was audibly disruptive, sounding like ‘kick-starting an F-350.’ He immediately rejoined the conversation afterward, leading to an awkward but relatable moment about bodily functions while traveling.
Smart Litter Box Technology
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(00:50:54)
  • Key Takeaway: The Litter Robot is a smart cat litter box that sends users app notifications regarding their cat’s bowel movements, which the hosts found overly intrusive.
  • Summary: The conversation touched upon overly complex technology, specifically the Litter Robot, which monitors a cat’s waste and sends daily updates via an app. The hosts expressed frustration over needing complex passwords (uppercase, lowercase) for such a mundane function, contrasting it with the lack of necessary tracking for human bodily functions.
House Hunting and Farm Aspirations
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(00:52:27)
  • Key Takeaway: Trevor Wallace is currently searching for a new home in the same city to acquire more space and potentially a small amount of land for a few animals.
  • Summary: Wallace confirmed he is slowly looking for a house in his current city, prioritizing more property and land. He mentioned that having a few animals, perhaps horses, would be appealing, partly to accommodate his mother’s potential enjoyment of them.
Joe Rogan Furry Protest Details
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(00:53:23)
  • Key Takeaway: A protest occurred outside Joe Rogan’s Comedy Mothership on New Year’s Eve, featuring furries and an Eric Cartman impersonator, criticizing Rogan as ‘diet Alex Jones’ and for sidelining local Austin comedy venues.
  • Summary: The protest, which took place on New Year’s Eve 2025 according to the source, criticized Rogan for allegedly dominating the Austin comedy scene and negatively impacting venues like Cold Town Theater. Demonstrators wore inflatable costumes and held signs with slogans like ‘Never Again is Now.’
Transition to Sports Fandom
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(00:57:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo Von admitted to a complete shift in attitude, evolving from mocking sports fans to becoming deeply invested in football, specifically the Rams, after attending a game.
  • Summary: Von described how he used to criticize people for having sports as a personality trait but became fully ’locked in’ after attending a Rams game two years prior. He compared this immersion to nicotine addiction, noting that his day is now affected by the team’s performance.
John Morant’s Fined Celebrations
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(01:00:29)
  • Key Takeaway: Grizzlies player Ja Morant frequently incurs fines for elaborate touchdown/basket celebrations, including throwing an imaginary grenade and holstering a prop gun to avoid further penalties.
  • Summary: Morant’s unique celebrations, such as the grenade toss followed by covering his ears, have resulted in significant fines. His latest celebration involves mimicking holstering a gun, seemingly as a direct response to avoiding further league penalties.
Memphis Tour Stop Vibe Check
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(01:01:57)
  • Key Takeaway: Memphis is described as a city rich in history (Elvis’ Graceland, Peabody Ducks) but currently suffers from nighttime danger downtown, which dampens the enjoyment of its cultural offerings.
  • Summary: Wallace is excited for his upcoming tour stop in Memphis, noting its historical significance, including Graceland and the famous Peabody Ducks tradition. However, he cautioned that the city experiences dangerous activity at night, making it difficult to fully enjoy the local atmosphere.
Ancient History of Ejaculation
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(01:04:31)
  • Key Takeaway: Ancient Sumerian and Egyptian myths from around 2500-2400 BCE describe deities creating the world through acts involving masturbation and seminal emission.
  • Summary: The hosts researched the earliest recorded references to ejaculation, finding them in ancient Near Eastern mythology. These texts detail creation myths where gods formed rivers, deities, and the world through seminal acts.
Video Game Complexity Critique
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(01:05:31)
  • Key Takeaway: The sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Tears of the Kingdom) was criticized for being overly involved, requiring too much time for mundane tasks like heating food, which felt unfair to working adults.
  • Summary: Wallace expressed that Tears of the Kingdom felt too demanding compared to the first game, specifically citing the need to constantly warm up items. He felt the game demanded an excessive amount of time commitment, which conflicts with having a job.
Ejaculation Speed and Hog Size
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(01:07:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Average ejaculation speed is cited around 27 to 28 miles per hour, and penis size does not definitively dictate ejaculation time, though larger glands might correlate with faster volume release.
  • Summary: The term ‘bust a nut’ originated in the 1930s, referring to the explosive release during climax. While sperm itself can move faster, the average burst speed is relatively slow, leading to speculation about whether larger anatomy affects travel time.
Unconventional Funeral Wishes
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(01:10:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo Von expressed a desire for his body to be shot out of a cannon into a schoolyard, with the first child to touch him inheriting his entire estate.
  • Summary: Wallace shared his wish for a dramatic, non-traditional end, specifically wanting his ashes blown out of an F-350 exhaust or his body launched via cannon. He contrasted this with the common, unexciting practice of scattering ashes at landmarks like Mount Rushmore.
Wigga Archetypes and Heisman Award
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(01:20:41)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts debated which celebrities qualify as ‘Wiggas,’ suggesting figures like Michael Rappaport, Matt Rife (due to his abs), and Barry Keoghan as candidates for an annual ‘Wigga Heisman’ award.
  • Summary: The discussion categorized white celebrities who adopt elements of Black culture, with Elton John and Machine Gun Kelly mentioned as potential examples. Gianni Paolo was nominated as the current frontrunner for the unofficial ‘Wigga Heisman’ due to his visible success and jewelry.
Speed Race: Man vs. Cheetah
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(01:24:07)
  • Key Takeaway: A video clip showed streamer IShowSpeed racing a cheetah, which reportedly reached speeds up to 92 mph, significantly faster than the 27-28 mph average ejaculation speed previously discussed.
  • Summary: The segment referenced a viral clip where IShowSpeed raced a cheetah, highlighting the extreme speed of the animal. This was used to compare against the previously established speed of human ejaculation, leading to a debate over which animals a human could realistically outrun (like a rooster or a sloth).
High-Profile MDC Brooklyn Inmates
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(01:32:07)
  • Key Takeaway: The Metropolitan Detention Center (MDC) in Brooklyn has housed an unusually high concentration of famous federal defendants, including Diddy, Sam Bankman-Fried, and Nicolas Maduro.
  • Summary: The hosts reviewed a list of notable inmates at MDC Brooklyn, noting the presence of figures like El Chapo, Ghylaine Maxwell, and Al Sharpton. Sam Bankman-Fried was confirmed to be serving a 25-year sentence there for massive crypto fraud.
Notable MDC Brooklyn Inmates
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(01:32:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn has housed high-profile federal defendants including Diddy, R. Kelly, and Sam Bankman-Fried.
  • Summary: MDC Brooklyn has gained notoriety for housing numerous high-profile federal defendants. Notable inmates mentioned include Maduro, Diddy, R. Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, El Chapo, Michael Cohen, Ghylaine Maxwell, Martin Shkrelli, and Al Sharpton. Sam Bankman-Fried was convicted and sentenced to 25 years for orchestrating massive fraud at his crypto exchange, FTC.
Future Incarceration via AI
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(01:33:20)
  • Key Takeaway: The Cognify system proposes replacing prison time with a three-minute AI process that imprints intense, simulated memories of the crime’s impact on victims.
  • Summary: A company called Cognify proposes a future of incarceration where criminals can choose between decades in prison or a three-minute process. This process uses AI and brain implants to imprint memory sets, forcing the convict to feel the emotions of their victim and family members. The concept is described as an extremely deep form of EMDR, simulating years of remorse in minutes.
Jail vs. Prison Definitions
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(01:38:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Jails are local, short-term facilities for those awaiting trial or short sentences, contrasting with prisons which are long-term institutions.
  • Summary: Jails are characterized as local, short-term facilities where individuals await trial or serve brief sentences, often lacking established gang structures. Prisons are the long-term institutions where organized criminal elements typically reside. The speakers expressed curiosity about the inner workings of jails, suggesting they should be toured like tourist attractions.
Inmate Sports League Concept
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(01:41:21)
  • Key Takeaway: The speakers proposed streaming competitive sports leagues between established prison gangs as a way to foster unity and provide inmates with something to look forward to.
  • Summary: The idea was floated that inmates could be organized into teams based on prison gangs like the Texas Syndicate or La Nuestra Familia to compete in sports. Streaming these games on platforms like Rumble could generate income and potentially introduce a form of unity or respect between rival groups post-competition. This structure would give inmates a daily training focus instead of traditional long-term incarceration.
Trevor Wallace Tour & Mindset
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(01:43:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Trevor Wallace is shooting his special on March 17th in Phoenix, Arizona, and his ‘Alpha Beta Male’ tour reflects his internal conflict between assertive and passive decision-making.
  • Summary: Trevor Wallace announced he is shooting his special on March 14th in Phoenix, Arizona, noting Phoenix is a great comedy town. His tour name, ‘Alpha Beta Male,’ stems from feeling his brain is split between two opposing decision-making styles. He admitted to being an ‘in-my-head guy’ who overthinks actions, which he believes helps maintain meticulousness but hinders spontaneity.
Buzz Boys Movie Update
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(01:48:46)
  • Key Takeaway: The self-financed film ‘Buzz Boys’ is slated for a theatrical release followed by direct-to-consumer distribution after a challenging production process.
  • Summary: The film ‘Buzz Boys’ is expected to be released in theaters in a couple of months before moving to direct-to-consumer platforms. The production was a significant undertaking that was self-financed, written, and shot over 23 consecutive days, overcoming obstacles like last-minute fire-related scheduling changes. Despite the difficulty, the final product is viewed as a legitimate, start-to-finish movie with great cameos.