This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

BEST OF: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von 2025

December 31, 2025

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  • The conversation touches on the origin of the podcast's name, 'This Past Weekend,' and includes a brief, dark exchange referencing Bill Cosby. 
  • A significant portion of the discussion revolves around a caller's dilemma of impregnating his first cousin, leading to humorous and crude commentary on inbreeding. 
  • The latter half of the segment delves into a detailed, academic discussion about the 2D:4D finger length ratio as an indicator of in-utero testosterone exposure and potential links to sexual orientation, followed by a segment on the ethics and reality of online pornography and human trafficking content. 
  • The contradiction of American identity involves valuing national security while simultaneously grappling with the negative aspects of US foreign policy. 
  • The lack of enthusiasm for skilled labor, stemming from educational shifts away from trades, presents a significant challenge to potential manufacturing job revitalization. 
  • Human brains are hardwired to predict a near future, which explains the near-universal prevalence of afterlife narratives in world religions as a way to cope with the inability to imagine personal non-existence. 

Segments

Podcast Name Origin and Cosby Reference
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(00:00:02)
  • Key Takeaway: The podcast title ‘This Past Weekend’ originated because Theo Von started recording on a Monday.
  • Summary: The podcast title ‘This Past Weekend’ was chosen because the recording process often began on a Monday. A brief, dark exchange referenced Bill Cosby, questioning if being a rapist was one of his known problems.
Cousin Pregnancy Dilemma
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(00:00:49)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener sought advice after discovering his girlfriend of two years, with whom he has a child, is his first cousin.
  • Summary: A listener shared a situation involving impregnating his first cousin after two years of dating. The hosts reacted with shock and made crude jokes about the potential genetic outcomes of the child.
Dating Strategy and Children
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(00:03:36)
  • Key Takeaway: One speaker revealed a strategy for fatherhood involving only dating athletic women who already have children to ensure a head start on athletic ability and home preparedness.
  • Summary: The speaker detailed a strategy for having children, prioritizing women who were athletic and already mothers. Dating women with children ensures food is available at home, contrasting with childless partners who prefer eating out.
Finger Length and Hormones Data
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(00:05:32)
  • Key Takeaway: A longer ring finger relative to the pointer finger (hypermale pattern) is associated with higher in-utero testosterone exposure, often more pronounced in gay men.
  • Summary: A study on finger length ratios (2D:4D) suggests a correlation with in-utero testosterone exposure. The typical heterosexual male pattern shows the ring finger slightly longer than the pointer finger. This difference is reportedly more pronounced in gay men, indicating a ‘hypermale pattern’ linked to prenatal hormone levels.
Frederick Douglass Rumor
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(00:07:30)
  • Key Takeaway: One speaker claimed to have heard from multiple sources that Frederick Douglass was gay.
  • Summary: The speaker mentioned hearing a persistent rumor that Frederick Douglass was gay, suggesting this might explain his efforts to free men. The source of this information was noted as not being from white individuals, lending it perceived credibility.
Bodybuilding Posing Tricks
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(00:08:05)
  • Key Takeaway: The key to a successful bodybuilding posing routine is preparation, ensuring the competitor is ready enough not to shake during the performance.
  • Summary: Success in bodybuilding posing relies on avoiding shakes, which is achieved through rigorous preparation, summarized by the Marine Corps’ ‘seven P’s’ principle. Shaking during a pose is considered a sign of inadequate readiness at a high level of competition.
Smelling Salts and Sensory Experience
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(00:09:35)
  • Key Takeaway: The mention of smelling salts in the context of physical exertion elicited a strong, immediate sensory reaction from the hosts.
  • Summary: The mere mention of smelling salts prompted a visceral reaction from the hosts, suggesting a shared, intense sensory memory associated with the substance. This led to a brief, chaotic moment of physical reaction between the speakers.
Race Baiting and N-Word Discussion
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(00:10:36)
  • Key Takeaway: The speakers debated the existence of overt racism versus media amplification and discussed the concept of monetizing the use of the N-word.
  • Summary: The segment addressed racism, suggesting the media and internet profit from keeping it alive, while acknowledging its existence. They discussed the context of the N-word, noting that its meaning is dependent on interpretation and that some suggested monetizing its use at events.
Coffee Habits and Social Awkwardness
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(00:14:02)
  • Key Takeaway: One speaker avoids most chemicals, including coffee, only consuming it recreationally on vacation as a celebration.
  • Summary: One host stated a general aversion to chemicals, only drinking coffee recreationally during vacations as a form of celebration. They contrasted this with the perceived social awkwardness of figures like Elon Musk, suggesting everyone experiences awkwardness in certain environments.
AI Companion Fears
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(00:15:47)
  • Key Takeaway: A guest expressed fear that AI companions, like GPT-5, could have the same negative, dopamine-driven effects on users as social media scrolling.
  • Summary: The guest was unsettled after an AI model perfectly answered a complex question, realizing the potential for AI companions to mimic addictive social media patterns. They admitted they do not yet know how to mitigate the negative psychological impacts AI might have on users.
Dick Laser Gag Gift
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(00:16:53)
  • Key Takeaway: A gag gift, a laser pointer shaped like a penis that projects phallic images, was presented to Theo Von.
  • Summary: A guest presented Theo Von with a ‘dick laser,’ a laser pointer that projects images of penises, intended for use as a humorous way to silence talkative individuals. The device reportedly has variable settings for different ’nasty’ projections.
Meeting The Rizzler
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(00:17:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo Von met the social media personality known as ‘The Rizzler’ while dining at Craig’s in Los Angeles.
  • Summary: Theo Von recounted meeting The Rizzler in person at the restaurant Craig’s, expressing excitement over the encounter. He noted the young man was drinking two Pepsis past 8 p.m. and speculated that The Rizzler’s fame might exempt him from traditional academic concerns.
Fettuccine Noodle Assault Story
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(00:22:54)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener described being severely burned when his 25-year-old girlfriend threw a pot of boiling fettuccine noodles on him during a domestic dispute.
  • Summary: The caller detailed an incident where his on-again, off-again girlfriend threw boiling fettuccine noodles on him while he was cooking chicken parmesan. The scalding liquid caused intense stinging, prompting the caller to flee while his dog, Snowy, attacked the assailant.
Age Gap Dating Normalization
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(00:21:28)
  • Key Takeaway: The Bill Belichick relationship reportedly opened a ‘portal’ normalizing dating relationships between older men and significantly younger women.
  • Summary: The speakers suggested that high-profile age-gap relationships, like Bill Belichick’s, have normalized such pairings, making it easier for older, successful men to date younger women. They noted that young women often prioritize wealth and success over looks in dating, and age seems less of a barrier now.
YouTubers Can Be Gay Song
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(00:26:08)
  • Key Takeaway: A song titled ‘YouTubers Can Be Gay Too’ was introduced as a current ‘summer bop’ that supports LGBTQ+ expression within the creator community.
  • Summary: A song titled ‘YouTubers Can Be Gay Too’ was played, which the hosts felt was a necessary track to counter toxic masculinity in certain online communities. They supported the song’s message, suggesting it helps ’let the air out the tire’ regarding rigid gender norms.
Vetting Redheads and Albinism
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(00:27:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Redheads require a vetting process to determine if they are ’enemy or friend,’ similar to how one might approach an ‘albino black guy’ with red hair.
  • Summary: The speaker expressed a need to vet other redheads based on their perceived ‘ginger level’ before trusting them. This led to a humorous search for an ‘albino black guy with red hair,’ who would be invited to the cookout but require ring sunscreen.
Celsius Drink Review
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(00:28:33)
  • Key Takeaway: The grape-flavored Celsius energy drink tastes remarkably similar to the juice squeezed from Amish purple grapes.
  • Summary: The grape Celsius drink was highly praised for its natural flavor profile, resembling the juice from Amish grapes that are squeezed rather than chewed due to hard seeds. The drink contains caffeine, providing an energy boost.
Reflecting on Privilege and Assassins
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(00:30:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Interviewing an assassin in LA made the host reflect on taking his own life experiences, like driving a Corvette with women, for granted.
  • Summary: The host recounted a brief, terrifying interview with a paid assassin in Los Angeles who threatened the crew if the police showed up. The assassin became defensive when asked about his children, threatening the interviewer’s attempt to elicit emotion.
Youth Pastor Suicide Call Roleplay
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(00:33:10)
  • Key Takeaway: The roleplay simulation of a youth pastor who impregnated a 14-year-old revealed the danger of putting the son on the phone, as the father might use it to say goodbye.
  • Summary: In a simulated crisis call, a youth pastor confessed to impregnating a 14-year-old and considered suicide. The hosts determined that putting the son on the phone would be dangerous, as the father might use the opportunity to say goodbye to him.
Pornhub as Crime Scene
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(00:39:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Pornhub was characterized as a ‘crime scene’ due to its ease of uploading non-consensual or illegal content without age verification, leading users down a ‘hellhole of rape’ via its algorithm.
  • Summary: The speaker discovered that Pornhub allowed video uploads with only an email address, facilitating the posting of illegal content, including potential trafficking victims. The platform monetized this content through billions of daily ad impressions, and its algorithm actively promoted users toward more extreme, harmful material.
Erosion of Fairness in America
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(00:40:59)
  • Key Takeaway: The core American system is based on innate fairness, which is being eroded by policies like affirmative action that reward or punish based on uncontrollable factors.
  • Summary: Fairness is described as an innate sense understood even by children and dogs, forming the basis of the American system where all citizens are equal before the law. This principle is being undermined by policies that punish or reward based on birth factors, mirroring the evil of segregation.
Israel Lobbying Exception
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(00:43:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Israel is the only country exempt from registering lobbyists under the Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA), a status allegedly secured after JFK’s assassination.
  • Summary: Israel is uniquely allowed to lobby American politicians without registering as a foreign agent, unlike other nations. This exemption is linked to historical conflicts involving JFK and AIPAC, allowing a foreign entity to influence U.S. legislation, such as on speech regulation.
Gaza Genocide Observation
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(00:45:03)
  • Key Takeaway: One speaker felt compelled to speak out about the conflict in Gaza, describing it as a genocide occurring while the world watches, despite feeling unqualified to comment.
  • Summary: The speaker expressed deep distress over witnessing images of the conflict in Gaza, feeling a moral obligation to speak up against what felt like a genocide. They acknowledged the contradiction of being a citizen in a country complicit in foreign policy decisions that conflict with personal morality.
Mawasi Camp Life and Contradiction
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(00:48:59)
  • Key Takeaway: The Mawasi Camp in Gaza houses one-third of Gaza’s population in tents, yet normal civilian life—children playing, fathers sulking—persists amidst the crisis.
  • Summary: The Mawasi Camp is a densely populated tent city where entire families live together, yet normal human activities like children playing are still visible. This reality forces Americans to confront the contradiction between the security of their nation and its involvement in global conflicts.
American Identity Contradiction
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(00:50:29)
  • Key Takeaway: Americans experience a normal contradiction between national pride and criticism of US foreign policy.
  • Summary: The feeling of needing to be an American for domestic safety conflicts with awareness of problematic American global actions. One speaker suggests the US government functions primarily as a vehicle for corporate subsidies rather than serving citizens. This internal conflict is a common realization when confronting the reality of American international engagement.
Lincoln’s Warning on Self-Destruction
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(01:02:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Abraham Lincoln warned that American destruction must come from within, not from external forces.
  • Summary: Lincoln, addressing the Young Men’s Lyceum, stated that no foreign army could conquer the US, concluding that if destruction occurs, Americans must be its author. He framed the challenge as avoiding self-destruction caused by making neighbors into enemies. Civic virtue and participation, like attending town meetings, are presented as the antidote to this internal threat.
Manufacturing Jobs and Labor Will
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(01:04:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Revitalizing US manufacturing faces a ‘will gap’ where workers lack enthusiasm for available jobs.
  • Summary: If political efforts succeed in bringing manufacturing jobs back, there will be millions of open positions without a prepared workforce. This is described as a ‘will gap’ in addition to a skills gap, indicating a lack of enthusiasm for the work itself. Removing shop classes from high schools deprived generations of exposure to this type of labor while pushing for four-year degrees.
Truck Camper Living and Raw Milk
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(01:06:14)
  • Key Takeaway: One guest lived in an F-250 truck camper for two years in D.C.
  • Summary: The guest detailed his living arrangement in a truck camper equipped with a shower, bathroom, stove, and fridge. He mentioned occasionally still using it, though he admitted to getting in trouble for parking it. The segment briefly touched upon consuming raw milk from the camper’s fridge.
Ohio Ejaculation Law Proposal
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(01:07:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Ohio Democratic lawmakers proposed a bill defining conception as beginning at erection.
  • Summary: A new bill in Ohio sought to criminalize male ejaculation without the intent to conceive a baby. The speakers humorously noted the potential legal jeopardy this would place many men in, suggesting the court system would be overwhelmed. The discussion quickly pivoted away from the specifics of the proposed legislation.
Cocaine Use and Career Pressure
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(01:07:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Past recreational drug use created career pressure and fear of being reported.
  • Summary: One speaker recounted dabbling in cocaine while in show business, noting the difficulty of quitting due to the pressure and the risk of being ‘rat[ted] out.’ A specific incident involved an intense reaction after taking too much, leading to a frightening trip to the hospital. He ultimately stopped because he realized it was incompatible with maintaining a career.
Cat Williams Statue Acquisition
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(01:08:43)
  • Key Takeaway: A guest owns a statue of Cat Williams acquired from Michaels for religious purposes.
  • Summary: The guest confirmed owning a statue of Cat Williams, which he obtained at Michaels, noting it was not a collaboration. The store apparently claimed religious purposes for using his image and likeness. The guest expressed honor in possessing the statue, which he keeps up year-round.
Sudden Sexual Orientation Change
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(01:09:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The hypothetical scenario of suddenly becoming gay was explored through social shock.
  • Summary: The speakers imagined the social difficulty of waking up suddenly gay and having to confess this change to long-time straight friends. They discussed the fear of being perceived as crazy or being told to keep the new orientation secret. Advice was offered to a caller on how to come out to his mother using reverse psychology via a card trick.
SEC Coach Text Chain Dynamics
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(01:11:04)
  • Key Takeaway: SEC coaches maintain a text chain where wins and losses dictate communication frequency.
  • Summary: A guest described being on a text chain with SEC coaches like Kirby Smart and Sarkeesian, where communication halts after a loss until the coach who won texts again. The guest admitted to sometimes mediating tension or even temporarily removing coaches like Jimbo Fisher from the chat. Coaches generally struggle with the technology required to manage group chats.
Scottish Culture and Identity
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(01:13:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Scottish culture includes patriotic songs like ‘Flower of Scotland’ and unique social dynamics.
  • Summary: The conversation touched upon Scottish identity, referencing the song ‘Flower of Scotland’ which recounts defeating Edward’s army. Another song mentioned was ‘Alibali B,’ which sounded like it concerned a domestic dispute. The speakers noted that Scottish people are fascinating and sometimes perceived as being kept in a zoo-like environment by outsiders.
South Carolina Upbringing and Race
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(01:16:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Growing up in South Carolina involved direct racial slurs despite positive family memories.
  • Summary: The guest confirmed experiencing direct racial slurs, including the N-word, while growing up in South Carolina. He sought positive memories from his parents to write about instead of focusing on racism. His parents’ generation was noted for not understanding or recognizing Indian people in their culture.
Animals on Drugs Show Concept
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(01:18:33)
  • Key Takeaway: The new HBO Max show ‘Animals on Drugs’ follows the trend set by ‘Cocaine Bear.’
  • Summary: The guest promoted his new show, ‘Animals on Drugs,’ referencing the popularity of ‘Cocaine Bear.’ He suggested ‘Crackoons’ as a better title for a similar concept involving an animal high on drugs. The segment also included a brief, humorous tangent about a woman on TikTok with two vaginas, nicknamed ‘Double Barrel Cheryl.’
Turkey as America’s Bird
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(01:20:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Benjamin Franklin preferred the wild turkey over the bald eagle as the national bird due to the eagle being a scavenger.
  • Summary: Franklin reportedly favored the turkey because it is a ‘vain bird’ that puffs its feathers and possesses a colorful, changing snood. Turkeys are described as large, omnivorous birds that make loud noises. The segment also noted the staggering statistic of 206 million chickens being killed globally for food each day.
WNBA Spectator Incidents
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(01:21:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Unruly WNBA spectators have thrown sex toys onto the court during games.
  • Summary: The speakers acknowledged reports of spectators throwing sex toys onto the court during recent WNBA games. One speaker suggested embracing the chaos, perhaps using a t-shirt cannon to shoot the items out during Pride Month to generate viewership. The act was deemed disrespectful but potentially good for business if it drew attention.
The Pitfalls of Fame and Self-Image
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(01:23:05)
  • Key Takeaway: Unrealistic self-expectations and comparing oneself to others lead to unnecessary shame and loss of original goals.
  • Summary: One speaker detailed setting impossibly high aspirations (like Olympic training) which made any small failure feel like a catastrophic fall. He advised taking ‘baby steps’ in fitness, emphasizing that simply showing up is a win. Comparing one’s body to steroid users caused him to lose sight of his actual goal: just wanting a ‘bedroom body.’
The Dopamine Rush of Sharing
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(01:25:57)
  • Key Takeaway: The greatest modern dopamine rush comes not from performing an act or recording it, but from pressing ‘share.’
  • Summary: Scientific studies suggest the peak dopamine hit has shifted from achieving a goal to sharing the recording of that achievement. This forces people into a voyeuristic state where identity is derived from external validation (‘What did you think of what I did?’). This external focus makes one a viewer of their own life rather than a participant.
Gratitude and Fatherhood
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(01:27:07)
  • Key Takeaway: The producer, Riley, is expecting a baby boy, which provided a moment of profound gratitude.
  • Summary: The guest expressed deep gratitude for the impending birth of his son, noting how far he has come since he was young. The speakers engaged in a prayer, lifting up the unborn child and thanking God for providing purpose through family. The producer chose not to reveal the baby’s name yet.