The Viall Files

E1046 – Going Deeper with Hilaria Baldwin

December 10, 2025

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  • Hilaria Baldwin shared the deeply traumatic experience of a five-month miscarriage, which led her to use a surrogate for her subsequent pregnancy out of fear of repeating the physical and emotional toll. 
  • Both Hilaria Baldwin and Natalie (co-host) emphasized the importance of openly discussing miscarriage to combat the isolation felt by women who experience pregnancy loss. 
  • Hilaria Baldwin discussed navigating public criticism, noting that the most hurtful rumors centered on the authenticity of her Spanish heritage and accent, which she attributes to her bilingual upbringing and code-switching abilities. 
  • Hilaria Baldwin views organized fan campaigns to suppress votes on shows like *Dancing with the Stars* as a form of bullying, despite acknowledging she was technically voted off. 
  • The secret to Hilaria and Alec Baldwin's marriage longevity is described as commitment, desire, and consciously choosing each other every morning. 
  • Hilaria Baldwin proactively sold the first photos of her early children to charity to control the narrative and reduce paparazzi harassment, a strategy informed by her husband's difficult relationship with tabloid culture. 

Segments

Hilaria’s Miscarriage Trauma
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(00:08:02)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin felt the loss of her five-month pregnancy acutely because she stopped feeling fetal movement after initially feeling flutters, leading to a physically and emotionally devastating experience.
  • Summary: The loss at five months involved the physical experience of milk coming in, making the absence of the baby particularly hard. She felt the loss was traumatic because the embryo markers seemed positive, yet her body signaled something was wrong, which was initially dismissed by others. She chose surrogacy for the next embryo because she was unwilling to endure that physical experience again.
Miscarriage Conversation Importance
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(00:09:25)
  • Key Takeaway: Openly discussing miscarriage, especially while experiencing it, helps validate the grief of others who feel isolated or are pressured to pretend they are okay.
  • Summary: Natalie shared that she suffered three miscarriages this year and feels the topic is often treated as a scare tactic rather than a shared experience. Hilaria noted that women often blame themselves for pregnancy loss, even though they are not supposed to. Being a parent involves giving extra love, and this connection validates the identity of mothers who have never had a live child.
Navigating Subsequent Pregnancies
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(00:12:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Experiencing consecutive losses and pregnancies back-to-back leads to insensitive treatment from medical professionals who minimize the grief.
  • Summary: Hilaria found it hard when doctors minimized her losses by saying, ‘at least you have your other children’ after two consecutive losses. She chose to be more open about her first miscarriage before the three-month mark to reclaim the narrative from rumors, but became more guarded afterward due to COVID fears and feeling information was being taken from her.
Family Size and Alec Baldwin Dynamics
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(00:20:21)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin did not initially plan for a large family, but enjoys the uniqueness of each of her seven children, while Alec Baldwin’s clinical OCD influences his approach to labor.
  • Summary: Hilaria, who is one of 11 children, enjoys watching the unique personalities unfold in her large family, noting that each child is distinct. Alec, who was 53 when they met, was clear he wanted children early in their relationship. During labor, Alec is impatient and asks too many questions pre-epidural, but becomes a ‘champion’ during the pushing stage, expertly handling video recording as instructed.
Public Scrutiny and Identity
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(00:27:45)
  • Key Takeaway: The most bothersome public controversy for Hilaria Baldwin involved accusations about her identity and accent, which targeted her personal feelings of belonging.
  • Summary: Hilaria believes the negative public attention is often obsessive and profitable for tabloids, but she has learned to treat publications as business entities rather than personal attacks. She was deeply bothered by the red carpet incident where her husband interrupted her, as it was framed improperly and missed an opportunity for a ‘woman empowerment’ moment. Code-switching accents is normal and a sign of empathy, yet it was used to question her identity, which was an Achilles heel for her.
Marital Growth and Generational Differences
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(00:41:03)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin and Alec Baldwin nearly divorced after their second child because she tried to force him into her millennial parenting style instead of accepting his Boomer approach.
  • Summary: The transition from one to two babies created a difficult period where Hilaria felt guilt about dividing her love, and they had less of a support village while Alec traveled frequently. A major learning curve for Hilaria was accepting Alec’s ‘Boomerness’ and stopping attempts to make him conform to her millennial expectations. She realized that forcing him to attend every appointment was counterproductive, and that allowing him to be himself strengthened their bond.
Special Forces Experience and Winning
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(00:56:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin describes participating in Special Forces as the greatest, most rewarding, and physically torturous experience of her television career, emphasizing that success hinges on not quitting.
  • Summary: The show is a real simulation where participants endure physical suffering, trash food, and 18-hour days designed to break them mentally and physically. Hilaria used the motivation of her then-unborn child to ensure she did not quit and ultimately won her season. She notes that Steven Baldwin was also a funny participant on the show.
Bullying on Dancing with the Stars
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(01:00:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin felt bullied off Dancing with the Stars due to organized anti-fan campaigns designed to suppress her votes by having supporters vote for every other couple ten times.
  • Summary: This voting suppression tactic is described as a common, yet non-organic, practice on the show that makes a couple’s fan base appear smaller. She contrasts this with the positive environment of the show itself, noting that eliminations are hard for everyone involved. She challenges Bobby Bones, who disagreed with her take, to a cha-cha-cha.
Moving to New York Chaos
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(01:05:51)
  • Key Takeaway: The transition for Hilaria Baldwin’s family to move to the East Coast for Dancing with the Stars was chaotic, requiring them to secure housing and schooling immediately upon arrival.
  • Summary: The move happened very quickly, forcing them to arrange homeschooling for their children, who attend a bilingual language immersion school. The children missed their friends but were excited to return to their regular school once the show concluded. Hilaria prefers living in the New York area.
Alec’s Support and Media Targets
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(01:06:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Alec Baldwin is incredibly supportive of Hilaria’s entertainment career, despite his own history of speaking out against systems, which has made both of them targets for negative media coverage.
  • Summary: Hilaria notes the irony that Alec is often the one making controversial statements, yet she faces intense scrutiny from the public narrative crafted by the media. She chooses not to dwell on narratives that do not make sense, asserting her identity as her own person separate from her husband.
Managing Children’s Privacy
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(01:09:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria Baldwin sold the first photos of her first few children for $95,000, donating all proceeds to a children’s sexual abuse organization in Mallorca to preempt paparazzi harassment.
  • Summary: She learned that posting photos directly on Instagram lowers the bounty and reduces harassment from paparazzi, a strategy that alleviates tremendous mental distress for her and Alec. Nick Viall’s family stopped showing their child’s face publicly due to similar concerns.
Relationship Secret Sauce and Romance
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(01:12:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The key to Hilaria and Alec’s relationship success is mutual commitment, desire, and the daily choice to wake up and choose each other, especially after overcoming shared challenges.
  • Summary: Hilaria admits that while Alec is the more romantic partner (writing long cards), she is more practical, and they must remain careful about conception since they do not plan to have more children. Shared trauma and history create a bond where they question why they would let smaller issues break them.
Children’s Phones and Books
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(01:14:50)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilaria regrets giving her oldest child a phone, believing excessive screen time damages the brain, and she advocates for limiting exposure to activities that are not beneficial.
  • Summary: She tries to manage screen time by allowing it only for small periods, noting that iPads are also a concern for her other children. Hilaria co-wrote the book Glowing Up with her 12-year-old daughter, Carmen, and also authored the bestseller Manual Not Included.