3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Figure Out What You Really Want

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• The core of the episode is the **Odyssey Plan**, a three-question framework developed by Stanford professors to shift mindset and reveal new life possibilities.  Copied to clipboard!
• The first question, 'How will your life look if you stay on your current path?', forces brutal honesty about the future consequences of inaction, often revealing that the current path will worsen due to 'unfinished business'.  Copied to clipboard!
• The second question, 'If the path you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?', is designed to pull listeners out of trauma response by proactively brainstorming Plan B options, thereby expanding perceived possibilities.  Copied to clipboard!
• Small, consistent daily changes, even dedicating just 15 minutes, signal a shift in direction and create an entirely different path for your life.  Copied to clipboard!
• The concept of 'prototyping' from Stanford's design thinking process means testing new ideas through small, low-stakes experiments rather than committing to massive life overhauls.  Copied to clipboard!
• Experimentation reveals valuable information about what truly energizes you, allowing you to clarify your desires and stop wasting time and energy on things that don't matter.  Copied to clipboard!

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Introduction to Stanford Questions

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(00:00:00)

• Key Takeaway: Three powerful questions from Stanford’s ‘Designing Your Life’ course can reveal what you truly want and help design a better future.
• Summary: Mel Robbins introduces the episode’s focus: three questions developed by Stanford professors that help change mindset and reveal new possibilities. These questions are part of a proven method called the Odyssey Plan. By the end of the discussion, listeners should identify their ‘unfinished business’ and know how to act on it.

Sponsor Break: Alexa Plus

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(00:01:32)

• Key Takeaway: Alexa Plus offers enhanced capabilities, anticipating needs and remembering preferences across compatible devices.
• Summary: The segment promotes Alexa Plus, highlighting its ability to handle tasks like finding tickets or reservations through natural conversation. It emphasizes that Alexa Plus remembers user preferences and anticipates needs. The service is accessible via Echo, Fire TV, or other compatible devices.

Sponsor Break: Nobody Wants This

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(00:02:03)

• Key Takeaway: Season two of ‘Nobody Wants This’ explores the complexities of real life after the initial romance of a relationship.
• Summary: The promotion highlights the return of Kristen Bell and Adam Brody in the second season of ‘Nobody Wants This.’ The show focuses on the relatable journey after the honeymoon phase ends, proving that staying together is more complicated than falling in love. The series is available only on Netflix.

Sponsor Break: Sheridan Hotels

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(00:02:39)

• Key Takeaway: Sheridan hotels redesign their lobbies to function as versatile community spaces for working, relaxing, and recharging.
• Summary: Sheridan is positioned as ’the world’s gathering place,’ transforming lobbies into functional areas with community tables for co-working and social use. They offer soundproof booths for quiet work and tech-enabled studio spaces. An all-day cafe fuels guests throughout their stay.

Context: Unfinished Business Epiphany

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(00:03:22)

• Key Takeaway: The need for change often arises from realizing one has ‘unfinished business’ with oneself, regardless of age or current success.
• Summary: Mel shares an anecdote about a successful friend realizing he had ‘unfinished business’ related to his lifelong love of music at age 56. This prompts the listener to consider their own areas where they feel they have a chapter of life left to live. The episode aims to help listeners manufacture this breakthrough realization intentionally.

Question 1: Current Path Visualization

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(00:07:24)

• Key Takeaway: The first question requires visualizing the future in five years if absolutely nothing changes, forcing an honest assessment of the current trajectory’s desirability.
• Summary: Question one asks: ‘How will your life look if you stay on your current path?’ This is not about visualizing a dream life but being brutally honest about the outcome of maintaining the status quo in job, relationships, and routine. If the path is unfulfilling, continuing it risks making things worse due to the grinding sense of ‘unfinished business.’

Research on Future Visualization

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(00:20:25)

• Key Takeaway: Forming vivid mental pictures of the future, even negative ones, boosts positive emotion, which increases goal commitment and progress.
• Summary: Research published in Current Psychology shows that forming vivid visions of the future increases positive emotion, aiding in setting worthwhile goals. Even negative visualizations can motivate change by allowing the brain to experience the pain now, making immediate, hard change preferable to future suffering. Every action taken is a vote for the person one wishes to become.

Sponsor Break: AT&T Guarantee

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(00:22:56)

• Key Takeaway: The AT&T Guarantee promises reliable connectivity, making dependability the norm for customers.
• Summary: AT&T is promoting its guarantee focused on dependable connectivity, emphasizing that feeling supported is crucial. The guarantee aims to ensure things get done without the customer having to constantly ask. Details are available at ATT.com/slash guarantee.

Sponsor Break: Amica Insurance

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(00:23:53)

• Key Takeaway: Amica Insurance operates as a mutual insurer, prioritizing customer coverage for auto, home, and life needs.
• Summary: Amica emphasizes the philosophy of going far by going together, reflecting its structure as a mutual insurer built for its customers. They provide coverage for essential areas like auto, home, and life insurance. Listeners are encouraged to visit Amika.com for a quote.

Sponsor Break: MIDI Health

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(00:24:19)

• Key Takeaway: MIDI Health is a women’s telehealth brand covered by major insurance, dedicated to providing expert, personalized care for midlife health issues.
• Summary: MIDI addresses the historical trivialization of women’s midlife health issues, noting that 75% of women seeking menopause care are untreated. MIDI offers personalized solutions including hormonal therapies and coaching, aiming to help women thrive in midlife as the beginning of their second act. Care is made accessible and affordable through major insurance coverage.

Question 2: Path Disappearance Scenario

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(00:25:58)

• Key Takeaway: The ‘rug pull question’—‘If the path you’re on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?’—is designed to free you by forcing proactive Plan B thinking before a crisis hits.
• Summary: Question two forces listeners to consider what they would do if their current job, relationship, or routine vanished, preventing the freeze response that occurs during real-time trauma. By entertaining Plan B while still in Plan A, the brain can leverage problem-solving to see options that were previously invisible. This exercise reveals that Plan B options often already exist, but people wait for disaster before entertaining them.

Sponsor Break: Ashley Furniture

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(00:39:20)

• Key Takeaway: Ashley Furniture simplifies online shopping with free fabric swatches, quality pieces, and white glove delivery.
• Summary: Ashley makes furniture shopping easy by allowing remote collaboration (like Mel and her daughter) and providing free fabric swatches to eliminate guesswork. They offer well-crafted, quality pieces at sensible prices with fast, reliable delivery. The wide product range ensures options for every style and budget.

Sponsor Break: Bumble Dating

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(00:40:35)

• Key Takeaway: Bumble helps users find lasting relationships by focusing on alignment with intrinsic values rather than surface details.
• Summary: The key to lasting relationships is feeling grounded and fully oneself, which Bumble facilitates through thoughtful prompts and shared interests. Verified profiles offer peace of mind, helping users stay aligned with their authentic selves during the dating process. The platform connects people based on deeper compatibility, as exemplified by a producer’s friend who found her spouse after using Bumble for friends first.

Sponsor Break: Dell PC with Intel Core Ultra

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(00:41:47)

• Key Takeaway: Dell PCs featuring the Intel Core Ultra Processor offer all-day battery life to manage complex, multi-faceted tasks.
• Summary: New Dell PCs with the Intel Core Ultra Processor are designed to handle extensive to-do lists, such as organizing complex holiday shopping and catering to diverse dietary needs. These devices provide the power necessary to complete demanding tasks while offering all-day battery life. Purchases are backed by Dell’s Price Match Guarantee.

Question 3: Unhindered Dreaming

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(00:43:28)

• Key Takeaway: The third question, ‘How would life look if there was nothing holding you back?’, grants unbridled permission to daydream based on intrinsic values, bypassing fear of judgment or financial constraints.
• Summary: This question encourages listeners to imagine life free from money worries, external expectations, and responsibilities to uncover true desires. Research shows people are happiest when living by intrinsic values like growth and contribution, rather than chasing status or wealth. This exercise excavates ‘unfinished business’ tied to core values, which is often suppressed by the fear of judgment (‘Let them’).

Action Step: Integrating Insights

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(00:57:38)

• Key Takeaway: After mapping possibilities, listeners should select one desired direction and integrate it into their current path by creating one small, daily habit change.
• Summary: The three questions create a map showing the current path versus desired directions; listeners must pick one new direction of interest. Change is achieved not by blowing up life, but by creating a small fork in the road through a new daily habit, like Mel’s husband dedicating 15-20 minutes daily to writing. This small, consistent action signals that the new path is important and automatically alters the current trajectory.

Small Changes Create New Paths

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(01:01:36)

• Key Takeaway: Small, intentional daily actions signal a commitment to a new identity, such as writing first thing in the morning.
• Summary: Making one small change daily signals to yourself that the path you are on is different. Dedicating even 15 minutes a day to researching a new interest, like flower farms or online nursing programs, starts creating a fork in the road toward a different life. This small action is enough to begin shifting your trajectory.

Prototyping and Experimentation

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(01:03:03)

• Key Takeaway: Stanford professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans advocate for ‘creating a prototype,’ which means finding a small, low-stakes way to experiment with potential life changes.
• Summary: Once the powerful questions crack you open to new possibilities, the next step is to prototype by testing ideas. If you want to live elsewhere, prototype by talking to a resident or using Google Street View before booking a trip. Experimenting with an idea, like taking a weekend art class for creativity, provides valuable feedback on whether the concept truly resonates.

Refining Life Goals Through Testing

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(01:08:28)

• Key Takeaway: Experiments help you discover if a big dream is what you truly want or if you are seeking the underlying energy that the dream represents.
• Summary: Testing a major goal, like owning a bakery, might reveal you enjoy the idea but not the reality (e.g., (4:30) AM shifts). This allows you to find smaller ways to create the desired energy, such as exploring nearby towns if you thought you needed to move to Spain for adventure. Experimentation unlocks possibilities by breaking free from limiting excuses and gathering clues about what energizes you.

Final Encouragement and Legal Disclaimer

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(01:11:14)

• Key Takeaway: The process is designed to reveal your ‘unfinished business’ and empower you to create the change you now see is possible.
• Summary: The goal is for listeners to realize they have unfinished business and are capable of creating the better life they envision. The podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for professional advice from a licensed therapist or coach. Listeners are encouraged to use the Odyssey Plan and the three questions repeatedly to shake things up.