The Mel Robbins Podcast

9 Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

December 25, 2025

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  • Feeling stuck is often not due to not knowing the next step, but rather grieving and holding onto a past version of yourself or an outdated identity. 
  • Adult friendships naturally undergo a 'pruning' process where individuals replace up to half of their friends every seven years, making proactive friendship-making a necessity. 
  • For men, anger is often a safe, surface-level emotion used to mask deeper feelings like hurt or sadness, stemming from societal limitations on emotional expression (metaphorically, only having access to an 8-crayon box). 
  • Women's health guidelines for exercise and nutrition are often generalized from men and do not account for fundamental biological differences, requiring women to fuel before training to prevent muscle breakdown. 
  • Getting old is inevitable, but getting weak is not, as strength and mobility can be actively trained for at any stage of life, making it a choice rather than a decline. 
  • Understanding that no two siblings experience the same childhood—due to birth order, gender, parental relationship phase, and individual temperament—offers compassion and opens the door for adult healing and change. 

Segments

Recap and Jay Shetty Insight
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Feeling stuck is often caused by holding onto a past identity rather than not knowing the next step.
  • Summary: Mel Robbins introduces the ‘best of the best’ moments from the 2025 podcast year, highlighting the most shared and impactful advice. The first top moment features Jay Shetty, who reframes being stuck as grieving a past version of oneself. Letting go of the identity, habit, or expectation that is holding one back is the key to moving forward.
Adult Friendship Realities
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(00:17:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Adults naturally replace half of their friends every seven years, which is a normal part of life’s growth.
  • Summary: The second most talked-about topic was adult friendship, featuring expert Danielle Bayard Jackson. Research shows that 40% of adults do not have a best friend, and it is normal to shed friends as life stages change. Listeners are encouraged to seek fulfillment from the collective group of friends rather than relying on a single ‘bestie’ for all needs.
Foods That Fight Cancer
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(00:29:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Specific foods like berries, purple sweet potatoes, cruciferous vegetables, beans, and edamame actively fight disease by turning off tumor genes or reducing oxidative stress.
  • Summary: Dr. Dawn Musalem, a Mayo Clinic cancer doctor and survivor, shared five specific foods that fight cancer. Berries can reduce the risk of dying from breast cancer by 25% for survivors, and cruciferous vegetables like broccoli contain the enzyme murosinase which aids phytonutrient absorption. Fiber from beans shows class one evidence for reducing death from all causes, and soy (edamame) is shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence.
Sponsor Break and Transition
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(00:39:30)
  • Key Takeaway: The next highly impactful segment, which surprised the team, focuses on sex and intimacy.
  • Summary: Mel pauses the countdown to thank sponsors and encourage listeners to share the advice heard so far. She previews the next segment, noting that the topic of sex and intimacy was unexpectedly one of the most shared moments of the year.
Improving Sex and Intimacy
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(00:43:25)
  • Key Takeaway: Sex should be prioritized earlier in the evening, as exhaustion at bedtime makes genuine intimacy difficult.
  • Summary: Sex therapist Vanessa Marin advises against leaving sex until the very end of the night when energy is depleted. Scheduling sex, which is common even in early dating through date planning, should be done earlier in the evening to ensure energy is available. Gratitude, a 20-30 second hug (to release oxytocin), and eye contact are research-backed ways to boost marital satisfaction and connection.
Understanding Men’s Emotions
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(00:53:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Men often express hurt or sadness through anger or silence because society limits their accessible emotional vocabulary to a few ‘safe’ expressions.
  • Summary: The conversation with Jason Wilson revealed that men often default to anger as a safe emotion when feeling hurt or sad, or they become stoic and silent. Wilson uses the metaphor of men being limited to an 8-crayon box of emotions compared to women’s 64, meaning they cannot meet the complexity of emotional communication. Understanding this wiring helps partners communicate more effectively by leaning into curiosity rather than judgment.
Women’s Health Research Shock
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(01:01:33)
  • Key Takeaway: The number one most shared episode across all podcasts globally this year concerned women’s health research from Dr. Stacey Sims.
  • Summary: The next segment highlights Dr. Stacey Sims, a Stanford researcher with 107 peer-reviewed papers, whose episode on women’s health became the most shared episode across all podcasts globally for the year. Mel emphasizes that this moment unpacks a fundamental medical truth relevant to women’s health, exercise, and nutrition.
Dr. Sims Women’s Health
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(01:02:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Fasted training is detrimental to women’s bodies, often leading to fatigue and lack of fitness gains.
  • Summary: Women’s bodies do not respond well to fasted training, which involves exercising without prior food intake. When fuel is absent, the body may break down muscle mass because the hypothalamus signals a lack of necessary energy supply. A small amount of food, like protein coffee or half a banana, is needed to raise blood sugar and support successful training.
Dr. Wright on Aging
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(01:12:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Getting old is inevitable, but getting weak is not, as strength is trainable.
  • Summary: Dr. Vonda Wright, an orthopedic surgeon, emphasizes that aging should be trained for, not accepted as a slow decline. She describes seeing elderly patients suffer from broken hips, incontinence, and cognitive decline due to decades of neglecting their own strength and mobility. The core message is that the body will always respond positively to strength training, nutrition, and mobility exercises, regardless of age.
Dr. Mate on Childhood Impact
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(01:23:04)
  • Key Takeaway: No two siblings share the same childhood experience, even within the same family unit.
  • Summary: Childhood experiences are unique due to factors like birth order, gender differences, the parents’ relationship phase, and the child’s inherent temperament. A child experiences the way a parent shows up, which can differ significantly from how parents relate to other children. Understanding this difference fosters self-compassion and helps break negative adult coping patterns.
Brian Stevenson on Hope
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(01:30:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Hope is a discipline and an orientation of the spirit that must be trained for.
  • Summary: Civil rights attorney Brian Stevenson asserts that hopelessness is the enemy of justice, making hope a necessary superpower for action. Learning the stories of hopeful people who succeeded against the odds is a crucial action item for training this orientation of the spirit. Hope is not passive; it is a discipline and a choice that sustains action even when circumstances appear bleak.