The Rachel Hollis Podcast

898 I M Jealous Of My Ex And I Can T Move On I Hate My Life And I Dont Know How To Fix It

October 17, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • If a potential partner doesn't recognize your worth, you should not chase them because you are the "cat's pajamas" and should not settle for being an occasional option. 
  • Energetic ties to an ex or toxic people siphon your life force, and actively cutting these ties (even visualizing it) is necessary for healing and attracting new love. 
  • Admitting you hate a part of your life (relationship, job, location) is a crucial breakthrough that empowers you to begin making necessary, authentic changes, even if the transition is difficult. 

Segments

Self-Worth and Dating Standards
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(00:00:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Do not chase anyone who is too unintelligent to recognize your value as a catch.
  • Summary: If a potential partner views you as only an occasional option rather than a great asset, you should not pursue them. Settling for someone who doesn’t see your awesomeness leads to self-devaluation. You must hold the standard that your partner recognizes and appreciates how amazing you are.
Podcast Subscription Request
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(00:01:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Subscribing to a podcast is a direct way to support the show and its staff.
  • Summary: Subscribing ensures listeners never miss a new episode drop. It is one of the best forms of support for the host and the staff working on the show. Unsubscribing is a simple, one-click action if the listener decides they dislike the content.
Addressing Ex’s Manipulative Dating Plans
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(00:03:02)
  • Key Takeaway: Conversations with an uninvolved ex about their future dating prospects indicate unhealthy boundaries and manipulation.
  • Summary: The caller was engaging with her ex about his plans to move to New York for better dating opportunities, which Rachel identified as unhealthy. This conversation likely served to elicit an emotional reaction, proving the ex’s manipulative intent. The caller is energetically tied to the ex because she is still engaging in conversations about his life.
Energetic Tie Cutting Technique
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(00:07:11)
  • Key Takeaway: Healing from an ex requires active effort, including energy healing to sever energetic ties that siphon power.
  • Summary: Severing ties requires effort like therapy and creating energetic boundaries, such as visualizing protection or guardian angels. Listeners should imagine energetic strings tied to them by toxic people that siphon power away. The actionable step is to physically swipe down the body to energetically cut these old ties, repeating the action until the connection fades.
Sponsor Message: Wayfair
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(00:15:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Wayfair offers holiday decor and home refresh items with free and easy delivery, even on large items.
  • Summary: Wayfair is presented as a one-stop shop for holiday decorations, including trees, wreaths, and yard inflatables. The service also allows shoppers to refresh guest rooms with bedding and accent furniture. A key benefit is the elimination of huge delivery fees on large purchases like furniture.
Sponsor Message: Thrive Market
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(00:16:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Thrive Market provides healthier, restricted-ingredient swaps for snacks and treats, simplifying festive eating.
  • Summary: Thrive Market helps stock up on healthier alternatives to traditional Halloween candy, avoiding sugar crashes. They offer over 1,000 ingredient restrictions, ensuring all cart items meet specific health criteria. Listeners can receive 30% off their first order and a free $60 gift by visiting the specific URL.
Consequences of Ignoring Intuition
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(00:17:59)
  • Key Takeaway: Energy vampires can sense when their supply line is cut, potentially leading them to reach out unexpectedly.
  • Summary: If you energetically cut ties with manipulative or narcissistic individuals, they may feel the loss of energy supply and attempt contact. Allowing toxic users to remain attached results in chronic fatigue mistaken for burnout. You are in control of who is allowed to siphon energy away from you.
Addressing Feeling Stuck and Hating Life
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(00:20:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Admitting you hate your life is a necessary breakthrough that precedes positive change, as your body rejects the current avatar.
  • Summary: The caller felt stuck in an unhealthy relationship, a hated job, and financial distress, not knowing where to start making changes. Rachel noted that this realization is a positive breakthrough, comparing it to Jim Carrey’s quote about depression being the spirit rejecting the current avatar. The first step toward fixing multiple areas of life is honestly identifying what is not working.
Rachel’s Personal Relocation Struggle
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(00:24:31)
  • Key Takeaway: Fixers often try to treat the symptoms of an unhappy life rather than addressing the root cause, leading to wasted effort.
  • Summary: Rachel shared her current discomfort with living in Los Angeles, despite moving there for community support after her ex-husband’s passing. She realized she spent years trying to fix the symptoms (like remodeling a house) instead of admitting the root cause: the location itself was wrong for her spirit. Being ‘pot committed’ to past investments (like a move or a job) often prevents people from admitting a path is incorrect.
Steps for Making Life Changes
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(00:34:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Change can be approached by fixing one area at a time, starting with the romantic relationship, or by making a foundational, all-at-once overhaul.
  • Summary: The first method involves compartmentalizing life (work, relationship, friendships) and choosing one bucket, preferably the romantic relationship, to fix first to gain energetic momentum. The second, more extreme method is doing everything at once (breaking up, new job, new city) but requires intensive therapy to avoid repeating past patterns. Healing from past choices is mandatory to prevent recreating the same negative experiences in new circumstances.
Courage to Live Authentically
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(00:40:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Living a life that feels good internally is more important than living a life that looks perfect externally to others.
  • Summary: It is difficult to walk away from things others admire (like a high-status job or relationship) when your spirit knows it is wrong. Rachel emphasized that the pain of denying what is wrong is worse than the pain of transition. Having the courage to admit things are not okay empowers you to begin taking steps toward an authentic life, even if the transition period is hard.