The Rachel Hollis Podcast

905 Rach My New Boyfriend Is A Bad Father Is That A Red Flag Why Cant I Feel Any Of My Success

November 7, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • If a partner lacks integrity in a major area of life, like fatherhood, it raises the fundamental question of whether they possess integrity in any area of their life. 
  • An apology is only meaningful if it is followed by a change in behavior and action, not just words. 
  • Failing to feel emotional connection during major successes, especially early in adulthood, may indicate a need to explore underlying issues like dissociation or suppressed emotions, rather than simply dismissing it as maturation. 

Segments

Podcast Subscription Request
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(00:02:13)
  • Key Takeaway: Subscribing to a podcast is one of the most effective ways listeners can support the show and ensure they never miss new episodes.
  • Summary: Rachel Hollis requests listeners subscribe to The Rachel Hollis Podcast, noting that this action supports the host and staff. Subscribing ensures automatic delivery of new content. Unsubscribing is an easy, one-click option if the listener decides they dislike the show.
Ask Rach Series Introduction
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(00:03:13)
  • Key Takeaway: Questions in the ‘Ask Rach’ series are answered in real-time, meaning Rachel hears the voicemail for the first time as the audience hears it played.
  • Summary: The ‘Ask Rach’ segment features listener questions submitted via a podcast hotline answering machine. Rachel emphasizes that her responses are immediate and ‘off the cuff,’ based on her gut reaction, as she does not pre-hear or research the questions. Listeners are encouraged to call the hotline at (737) 400-4626 with any questions.
Bad Father Red Flag Analysis
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(00:04:30)
  • Key Takeaway: A man’s failure to be an actively present father for eight years following divorce, even if financially supportive, presents a complex situation requiring evaluation of his willingness to change behavior now that he is aware of the impact.
  • Summary: Rachel addresses a listener’s concern about a new boyfriend who was absent from his five children for eight years post-divorce, possibly due to focusing solely on career success. She notes that while his children have valid reasons to be upset, some people lack parenting skill sets due to their own upbringing. The critical test is observing whether he changes his behavior now that the issue has been brought to his attention, as true apologies require action.
Feeling Success and Emotional Disconnect
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(00:16:02)
  • Key Takeaway: A lack of expected emotional response to major life achievements, such as graduating early or securing a new home, warrants exploration, potentially with a therapist, as it can signal dissociation or the suppression of deeper, unaddressed issues.
  • Summary: A young listener reports feeling disconnected from the excitement of her significant recent achievements, like graduating with honors and securing a new home. Rachel relates this to her own experience of feeling disassociated during peak professional success, suggesting it might be a coping mechanism or a result of suppressing emotions to achieve goals. If the ’tuning fork’ feeling of deep joy is absent during great moments, it is crucial to explore why, as one must be able to feel the hard stuff deeply, which requires feeling the good stuff fully.
Home Cleansing Practices
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(00:28:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Home cleansing rituals, like burning Palo Santo or sage, serve as a physical manifestation of prayer and intention setting to clear stale energy or invite positive energy into a space.
  • Summary: Rachel explains her practice of burning Palo Santo daily while praying over her home to invite good energy, contrasting it with sage, which she uses to clear negative or stale energy, typically when moving into a new space or after conflict. She frames these acts as giving physical form to prayers, similar to how a wedding ring symbolizes marriage. The physical act itself is a powerful reminder to align one’s actions with the desired intention for the space.