Call Her Daddy

Grace Van Patten: Tell Me Lies & Toxic Relationships

October 1, 2025

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  • Grace Van Patten moved from New York to Los Angeles two and a half years ago but anticipates eventually returning to New York, noting the difficulty of adjusting to LA's less spontaneous social scene. 
  • Grace Van Patten's first celebrity crush was Steve-O from *Jackass*, while Alex Cooper's was Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. 
  • Grace Van Patten's first acting job was on *The Sopranos* at age eight, and she attended a performing arts high school alongside actor Timothée Chalamet, whose talent show performances she witnessed. 
  • Grace Van Patten revealed she has a hidden lip tattoo that says "99" for her grandpa, which she confessed to her parents while intoxicated, and she also has a small spider tattoo with Jackson. 
  • Grace Van Patten considered playing Amanda Knox in "Welcome to Derry" (implied by the discussion of "A Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox") to be the most important role of her career due to the desire to help tell her story authentically. 
  • Grace Van Patten described the upcoming season of *Tell Me Lies* as "fucking chaotic" and admitted that even the cast was surprised by the plot developments. 

Segments

LA vs. New York Living
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(00:02:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten finds Los Angeles less spontaneous than New York, where she prefers neighborhoods allowing her to walk for coffee.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten recently moved to LA but considers New York her permanent home, planning to return eventually. She notes the transition is hard because people in LA drive everywhere instead of walking to bars and restaurants like in New York. She is happiest in LA when she can find a neighborhood where she can walk to get coffee.
Childhood Trouble & Celebrity Crushes
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(00:04:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten once tried to evade her mother’s phone tracking by leaving her phone at a friend’s house, and her first celebrity crush was Steve-O from Jackass.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten was caught trying a loophole to evade her mother’s location tracking by leaving her phone at a friend’s house. She admitted to never enjoying the club scene, unlike Alex Cooper who worked at clubs and used padding to enhance her appearance. Her first celebrity crush was Steve-O from Jackass, which Alex Cooper understood due to the show’s nature.
Horrible First Impressions
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(00:07:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten once mortified Dustin Hoffman by greeting him as ‘grandpa’ upon meeting him for a film role.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten planned to make a joke by calling Dustin Hoffman ‘grandpa’ when meeting him for a movie where he played her grandfather. Hoffman’s visible negative reaction caused her extreme embarrassment, teaching her never to call an actor old. She realized the joke landed as anger rather than humor, resulting in a swing and a miss.
Recognition and Resemblance
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(00:08:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten was first recognized in public for her role as Shailene Woodley’s character in Divergent and has met Woodley.
  • Summary: The first time Grace Van Patten was recognized was for playing Shailene Woodley’s character in Divergent and later in the movie The Descendants. She has met Shailene Woodley and does not mind the comparison, viewing Woodley as beautiful and talented. She noted that people often compare them due to similar hairstyles at the time.
Family Dynamics and Age Gaps
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(00:09:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten has two sisters, including a 14-year-old sister born when her mother was 45, which brought a fresh energy to the family.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten is the oldest of three sisters, with a middle sister two years younger and a youngest sister 15 years younger. She initially struggled to comprehend having a much younger sibling at age 15 when her mother became pregnant. The youngest sister’s presence has kept the family feeling young and provided a reason to come home.
Growing Up on Film Sets
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(00:11:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Growing up watching her director father work instilled in Grace Van Patten a passion for loving what she does, viewing acting as ‘playing dress up.’
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten found growing up around her director father’s sets amazing because she was curious and surrounded by different types of people. She viewed acting as a fun job where one gets to ‘play dress up,’ contrasting the fun of performing with the industry’s scary, unpredictable nature. This experience innately drove her to pursue work she is passionate about, mirroring her father’s career choices.
First Acting Job and School
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(00:13:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Her first acting audition for The Sopranos at age eight was the most nerve-wracking experience, and her performing arts high school was filled with serious, creative peers.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten was extremely nervous auditioning for The Sopranos at eight after persistently asking her parents to let her try acting. Her parents left her alone for the audition to simulate a real industry experience, which she appreciated later. Her performing arts high school was full of quirky, creative kids who were already serious about their art.
Timothée Chalamet’s Talent Show
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(00:16:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten witnessed Timothée Chalamet’s infamous talent show performance where he performed as a rapper alter ego named Tiny Tim.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten attended the same performing arts high school as Timothée Chalamet, who was a grade above her. She witnessed his annual performance at the ‘Rising Stars’ talent show, which was highly anticipated. Chalamet’s performance involved a rapper alter ego, and the talent show itself featured incredibly talented students across various disciplines.
Initial Reaction to Tell Me Lies
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(00:20:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten loved the initial Tell Me Lies script because she dreamed of being in a toxic relationship story, though the pilot was much tamer than the final show.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten was excited by the initial script because she loves toxic relationship narratives, which she sees as having a ’through line energy.’ She only read the pilot initially, expecting a story about a preppy girl having a bad relationship, not the manic spiral the show became. She related to Lucy’s initial guardedness and the fear of showing feelings.
Lucy’s Character Flaws and Advice
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(00:22:59)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten believes the biggest difference between herself and Lucy is her ability to stop repeating mistakes, and she would advise Lucy to mend her relationship with her mother.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten feels she is better at learning from mistakes and stopping, whereas Lucy is ‘relentless’ in her poor choices. She finds Lucy’s attempts at subtlety the most cringe-worthy moments, citing the season one lie about not going to India. She believes Lucy lacks parental guidance, and having a mother figure to offer perspective would be crucial for her.
Steven and Lucy’s Worst Moments
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(00:27:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The most fucked up moment for Lucy was Steven walking out of the Hawaiian party with Diana while Lucy was in a coconut bra, and the most cringe moment for Alex Cooper was Lucy wearing the same underwear with both boys.
  • Summary: Robin Wright directed the episode featuring Steven leaving Lucy, using techniques to make Grace Van Patten feel the shock of betrayal. Grace Van Patten found the scene impactful because she reacted with shock and dissociation rather than overt emotion. Alex Cooper cited the scene where Lucy wears the same underwear after sleeping with both Steven and Evan as the most disgusting yet genius writing.
Dating Lessons and Friend Support
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(00:30:02)
  • Key Takeaway: The hardest dating lesson Grace Van Patten learned was overcoming a lack of communication stemming from being afraid to express her feelings, leading to jealousy.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten admits to having immature relationships characterized by jealousy and poor communication before learning vulnerability. She finds it difficult to advise friends in toxic situations because people rarely take personal advice unless they are ready. Friends must gauge when to intervene, as judging a friend in a bad relationship can cause them to alienate themselves and stop seeking support.
Meeting Jackson on Zoom
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(00:37:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Alex Cooper met her husband, Matt, on a work Zoom call where he was the only one who didn’t know who she was, which she found attractive.
  • Summary: Alex Cooper met her husband on a work Zoom call where the other producers were Call Her Daddy fans, but Matt was late and unaware of her show. She was immediately attracted to him because he was not trying to use her fame, even advising her against making the show at that time. This honest advice turned the professional meeting into a date, which she initiated forwardly.
First Impressions of Jackson
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(00:39:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten initially found Jackson, her co-star and now partner, to be a very serious, ‘actory actor’ during their initial chemistry read Zoom, but this changed when they met in person.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten was excited to read scenes with Jackson because he was the favorite for the role of Steven, but she found him too serious on the initial Zoom call. She couldn’t tell if her reaction was a crush or career excitement until they met in person, where they instantly vibed. They spent six hours talking about why they shouldn’t date before ultimately kissing.
Filming Sex Scenes with Partner
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(00:45:44)
  • Key Takeaway: Filming sex scenes with Jackson is easier because of the comfort level, but the process itself is highly technical, choreographed, and unsexy, requiring dissociation.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten states that filming intimate scenes is the least sexy part of the job due to the presence of intimacy coordinators, directors, and crew members. She finds it much easier to film these scenes with Jackson because of the existing comfort level, which makes the process feel safer. She and Jackson sometimes experience vivid dreams about cheating, which causes temporary anger upon waking.
ADR for Intimate Scenes
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(00:50:11)
  • Key Takeaway: ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement) sessions for sex scenes, involving making kissing and moaning sounds in a booth, are more awkward than filming the actual scenes.
  • Summary: Because of the numerous sex scenes in Tell Me Lies, Grace Van Patten has had to ADR intimate sounds multiple times, which she finds worse than shooting the scene itself. She feels awkward making sounds like kissing or moaning in the booth and asks others to do it for her. She noted that the technical nature of filming sex scenes involves precise choreography, not passion.
Secret Obsession: Pajama Sets
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(00:54:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten has a new ritualistic obsession where she feels she must wear a pajama set for any big day or press event to avoid bad luck.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten is obsessed with pajama sets, viewing it as a ritual or superstition for important days, believing failure to wear one will result in bad luck. She recently tried on a new set that looked like a 1930s jester outfit, which Jackson mocked, causing her to change. She had previously gifted similar pajamas to her sisters.
Childhood Secrets Revealed
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(00:57:47)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten recently revealed to her parents that she has a hidden tattoo on her lip that says ‘99’ in honor of her grandfather.
  • Summary: Grace Van Patten confessed to her parents that she has a tattoo on her lip that reads ‘99’ for her grandfather, which she kept secret for a long time. She revealed it while on vacation after having a few drinks, thinking her mother would appreciate the tribute. She also has a small spider tattoo on her wrist from getting it with Jackson three years ago.
Secret Tattoo Confession
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(00:58:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten revealed a hidden lip tattoo saying “99” dedicated to her grandfather.
  • Summary: Grace confessed to her parents about a tattoo she got in her lip that reads “99” during a vacation last summer. Her parents were shocked because they believed she had no tattoos, though they now think it is hidden inside her lip. She also mentioned having a small spider tattoo on her body that she got with Jackson two or three years ago.
Astrology and Jackson
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(00:58:47)
  • Key Takeaway: Grace Van Patten’s birthday is November 21st, making her a Scorpio, while Jackson is a Pisces.
  • Summary: Grace confirmed her birthday is November 21st, identifying her as a Scorpio, which prompted a reaction about Scorpio men being associated with mental games. She noted that Jackson, her partner, is a Pisces. She expressed comfort with Scorpio women, mentioning many of her friends share that sign.
Playing Amanda Knox
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(00:59:27)
  • Key Takeaway: Playing Amanda Knox was the most important role of Grace Van Patten’s career, driven by fascination since watching the 2015/2016 Netflix documentary.
  • Summary: Grace found playing Amanda Knox to be an amazing and important experience, focused on honoring the subject’s story in her own way. She was drawn to Amanda’s fascinating nature after watching the documentary years prior, wanting to understand her better. She spent two months preparing, which included learning Italian and frequently communicating with Amanda throughout the shoot.
Tell Me Lies Season Three
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(01:01:42)
  • Key Takeaway: The upcoming season of Tell Me Lies is described by Grace Van Patten as “fucking chaotic.”
  • Summary: Grace confirmed she has filmed all of the upcoming season of Tell Me Lies and knows the finale, but cannot reveal details. She noted that unlike previous seasons where cast members might have guessed the outcome, no one on the cast correctly predicted the events for this season. She summarized the new season in three words: “fucking chaotic.”
Podcast Outro and Ads
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(01:03:19)
  • Key Takeaway: Listeners can subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus for an ad-free version of Call Her Daddy.
  • Summary: The podcast promotes subscribing to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visiting their website for ad-free listening on other apps. Advertisements featured include The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, Depop, and a McDonald’s Big Mac meal promotion.