Call Her Daddy

Lucy Hale: Sober Doesn't Mean Boring (FBF)

October 10, 2025

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  • Lucy Hale felt like an 'alien' and misunderstood as a child due to being sensitive and artistic, which fueled her desire to become an entertainer to escape her true self. 
  • Early success in acting led Lucy Hale to hide behind characters and struggle to figure out her authentic identity, which she believes contributed to feeling misunderstood by others. 
  • Lucy Hale's first experience with alcohol at age 12 resulted in blacking out, establishing a pattern where her drinking was never normal and was rooted in escaping pain and shame. 
  • Lucy Hale's rock bottom moment involved waking up on January 1st with no memory of New Year's Eve, leading to a profound refusal to let that be her life anymore. 
  • Recovery is a non-linear process that requires blocking out external noise to determine what truly makes one feel good, often leading to necessary shifts in friendships and family dynamics. 
  • Being truly self-aware and accountable for one's life, rather than blaming circumstances or others, is the powerful key to finding a way out of personal struggles. 

Segments

Childhood and Feeling Misunderstood
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(00:02:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale felt like an ‘alien’ and misunderstood from a young age, leading her to seek an outlet in entertainment.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale grew up splitting time between Memphis, Tennessee, and Mississippi with hardworking parents; she was a sensitive child who felt misunderstood. This feeling of being an ‘alien’ drove her desire to become an entertainer as an outlet for her intense emotions. She moved to California at age 15 after starting acting and singing lessons.
Acting Career Identity Crisis
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(00:05:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Early success in acting caused Lucy Hale to run away from figuring out her true self, often confusing her identity with the characters she played.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale felt she didn’t get a chance to figure out who she was due to early success, and when she did, she didn’t like the person she found. She notes that actors often lean into characters because they lack autonomy in their professional lives. This led to her dressing and acting like her characters off-camera, blurring the lines of her personality.
Childhood Trauma and People-Pleasing
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(00:08:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Parents’ divorce at age four, amidst chaos, instilled a deep-seated desire in Lucy Hale to please everyone and act as a peacemaker.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale’s parents divorced when she was four, and she remembers the environment as chaotic, leading her to believe that acting a certain way could make her parents happy. This early experience fostered a strong people-pleasing tendency, which she is still actively trying to undo in her adult life. She notes the difficulty in setting boundaries when one has been conditioned to prioritize others’ happiness.
Early Career Pressures and Eating Disorder
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(00:16:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale struggled heavily with an eating disorder before booking her major show, feeling immense pressure to look a certain way and be liked.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale did not graduate high school and was emancipated at 17, realizing later that her struggles stemmed from childhood issues amplified by her career. She struggled heavily with an eating disorder, viewing control over her body as the only thing she could control amidst the chaos of fame. She felt pressure to maintain an image of perfection associated with her beloved television project.
Cast Dynamics and Insecurity
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(00:20:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Despite outward appearances, Lucy Hale felt competitive pressure and insecurity among her beautiful castmates, often retreating to her own world.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale admitted to feeling pressure to ‘keep up’ with her gorgeous co-stars, though she maintains there was love among them despite rough patches typical of people in their 20s. She often felt like an outsider, which fueled rumors that she didn’t get along with certain cast members. She attributes this tendency to connect less easily to her introverted nature, which persisted despite her career.
Alcohol as an Escape Mechanism
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(00:25:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Alcohol allowed Lucy Hale to temporarily embody the fun, sexy, and loud personality she felt she lacked, enabling her to escape the negative narratives she believed about herself.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale built narratives that she was boring and not smart, which fueled her desire to drink to become someone else—fun, sexy, or hysterical. Undoing these deeply ingrained narratives has been harder than quitting drinking or managing her career. She notes that sensitive people often turn to substances to numb their gifts.
First Alcohol Experience and Shame
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(00:30:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale’s first experience with alcohol at age 12 resulted in blacking out and vomiting, immediately associating drinking with shame and an inability to drink normally.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale first tried alcohol around age 12 or 13, blacking out and getting very sick from Green Apple Pucker. She felt intense shame afterward, fearing her mother’s disappointment, and realized her drinking was never normal from that first experience. This pattern of drinking to escape something continued until her early 20s when she questioned why she couldn’t just have two glasses of wine.
Rehab and Sobriety Journey
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(00:32:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale went to rehab at 23 but did not achieve lasting sobriety until age 32, recognizing that success in media made quitting incredibly difficult.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale went to rehab at 23 by choice but was not ready to give up drinking, finally getting sober at 32. She had tried many recovery methods but felt she couldn’t get sober in her 20s while maintaining a successful career in LA. Her commitment to sobriety was solidified by what she describes as a ‘spiritual intervention’ during a flight after a New Year’s Eve trip.
Sobriety Realities and Escapism
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(00:47:43)
  • Key Takeaway: Achieving sobriety is the best thing she has done, but it is deeply uncomfortable and painful, forcing her to confront other forms of avoidance like overspending and unhealthy relationships.
  • Summary: While sobriety has made her life better, Lucy Hale emphasizes that it is deeply uncomfortable and painful, contrary to public perception. She realized that she uses many methods to avoid uncomfortable feelings, including shopping and engaging in relationships she didn’t truly want to be in. She is learning to be gentle with herself and manage triggers like air travel, where she used to love drinking.
Alcohol and Sexual Avoidance
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(00:48:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale used alcohol to numb herself to the point of having sex with people she didn’t want to be intimate with, including potentially being taken advantage of.
  • Summary: Lucy Hale recalls drinking shots alone before coming home to have sex with a partner in an emotionally abusive relationship because she did not want to be physical. She notes that alcohol made her feel sexier, but sober sex is a new learning curve as she was uncomfortable in her skin previously. She used sex with men to fill an ’empty well’ with validation, creating a cycle of needing attention to feel worthy.
Toxic Relationships and Thrill Seeking
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(00:58:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy Hale’s most passionate relationships were also the most toxic, often involving partners who were heavy drinkers or drug users, which normalized self-neglect and day drinking for her.
  • Summary: Previous partners had warned Lucy Hale about her drinking problem, but she dismissed their concerns until later realizing they were right. Her most passionate relationship involved a partner who was an alcoholic and drug addict, leading her to adopt habits like day drinking and trying drugs for the first time. She recognizes that the instability in these relationships provided an exciting rush that masked underlying fear.
Surprise Romantic Trip Planning
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(01:03:32)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy planned a surprise trip to a ranch house to step up romantic initiative for Matt.
  • Summary: Lucy planned a surprise trip to a gorgeous ranch house for her partner, Matt, to unplug and reconnect. Activities included hiking with their dogs, riding a horse, visiting a farmer’s market, and finding local date night spots. The Airbnb stay provided necessary privacy, including a jacuzzi for late nights.
Aura Ring Wearable Tech
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(01:04:51)
  • Key Takeaway: The Aura Ring 4 ceramic is sleek, stylish wearable tech tracking over 40 biometrics without screens or vibrations.
  • Summary: The Aura Ring 4 ceramic is presented as a stylish alternative to clunky wearable tech, crafted from high-performance ceramic. It tracks over 40 biometrics, including sleep, recovery, and stress, and lasts up to eight days on a single charge. The ring is available in four colors: petal, midnight, tide, and cloud.
Family History of Alcoholism
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(01:06:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Struggles with alcohol can sometimes be genetic, though individual responses to environmental factors vary significantly.
  • Summary: The discussion touched upon whether family history influences struggles with alcohol, suggesting it can be a genetic factor that makes individuals feel less alone. However, growing up in the same home does not guarantee similar struggles, as demonstrated by Lucy’s sister not struggling with alcohol.
Reintegration After Rehab
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(01:07:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy’s immediate post-rehab experience involved a romantic partner asking her to buy Jack Daniels, highlighting integration challenges.
  • Summary: Lucy’s first memory after rehab was picking up a romantic interest who immediately asked her to stop at a liquor store, where he bought Jack Daniels. She remained sober for three months following this event, recognizing the irony of prioritizing someone else’s needs immediately after her spiritual experience.
Chronic Relapse Patterns
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(01:08:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy’s relapse cycle often involved being sober for one to two months before attempting controlled drinking, usually starting with rosé.
  • Summary: Lucy typically relapsed about three months after treatment, often during trips like one to Vegas. The pattern involved believing she had a good grip on her alcoholism and attempting controlled drinking, sometimes incorporating other substances like Adderall to ‘bring her back down.’ She identified herself as a chronic relapser.
The True Rock Bottom Moment
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(01:09:36)
  • Key Takeaway: The definitive rock bottom was realizing she had a day and a half of memory missing over New Year’s Eve, leading to a refusal to continue that life.
  • Summary: The rock bottom moment was waking up after New Year’s Eve to discover it was January 1st, meaning she had lost a day and a half of memory. This triggered an intense feeling of ‘This can’t be my life,’ despite technically nothing catastrophic happening externally. She acknowledged that her drinking had already damaged friendships, relationships, and hurt her family.
Navigating Sobriety and Stillness
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(01:14:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Newly sober individuals often overfill their schedules with activities, but true healing involves becoming comfortable with stillness and boredom.
  • Summary: Recovery is not linear, and healing requires getting quiet to figure out what genuinely feels good, blocking out external advice noise. Lucy realized she was filling her days with excessive workouts and reading to avoid discomfort, but the next phase involves being gentle with her relationship to her body, food, and exercise, which were previously fueled by alcoholism.
Maeve Dog Food Advertisement
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(01:18:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Maeve offers human-grade, vet-formulated raw dog food made with real ingredients, supporting digestion and immunity.
  • Summary: Maeve food is designed for dogs with specific needs, like picky eaters or sensitive digestion, using real ingredients, organ meat, and supplements. It requires no prep and has been reported to improve digestion and coat health within two weeks. Listeners can use code CallHerDaddy for 20% off their first order at meetmaeve.com.
ZipRecruiter Job Search Advice
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(01:19:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Job seekers should use ZipRecruiter to find roles with transparent salary/benefits information and apply quickly.
  • Summary: Three in five women feel pressured to accept the first job offer, emphasizing the need to use ZipRecruiter to find a ‘hell yes’ job. ZipRecruiter matches users with relevant jobs in minutes, allowing one-click applications for many roles. Most listings include salary and benefits information, which is crucial for decision-making.
Finding Purpose and Simplifying Life
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(01:20:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy’s priorities shifted toward spirituality and finding purpose, which she believes was a missing element she previously tried to numb with alcohol.
  • Summary: Lucy is simplifying her life, focusing on small joys, her dogs, and a small circle. She is exploring spirituality to find her purpose and determine how to leave the world a better place. She suspects that feeling a lack of purpose was a contributing factor to her previous reliance on alcohol.
Dating Standards Post-Sobriety
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(01:23:45)
  • Key Takeaway: Lucy is no longer willing to settle in dating, seeking alignment across emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual aspects.
  • Summary: Lucy is currently single and prioritizing finding a partner, but she is not looking to casually date, seeking something specific. She values a partner who is self-aware and can keep up in deep conversations, stating that sexy awareness is an immediate attraction point. She recognizes that being whole allows her to enter a partnership respectfully and is ready to love.
Authenticity in Dating Research
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(01:28:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Men pretending not to know a public figure’s career during early dates signals phoniness, as social media research is expected.
  • Summary: Lucy experienced dates where men acted unaware of her career, which felt rehearsed and bizarre, suggesting they were being phony. She believes that while research is expected, pretending ignorance about a known public figure’s profession is a red flag. Transparency and being upfront about one’s life are preferred over feigning ignorance.
Final Message of Shared Experience
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(01:31:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The core message for listeners is that they are not alone in their struggles, shame, or feelings of being misunderstood.
  • Summary: Lucy emphasized that there is nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of regarding heavy topics like sobriety or trauma. She highlighted the uniqueness of every individual, referencing fingerprints, to underscore that there is only one of each person meant to be there. She urged listeners to be gentle and kind to themselves, as things eventually find their place.
Ad Break: SiriusXM Podcast Plus
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(01:35:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Listeners can subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus for ad-free versions of Call Her Daddy on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
  • Summary: Subscribing to SiriusXM Podcast Plus allows listeners to hear new episodes of Call Her Daddy without any advertisements. This ad-free experience is available on Apple Podcasts or via SiriusXM.com/slash podcastplus on Spotify.
Ad Break: Depop Marketplace
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(01:35:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Depop is a marketplace emphasizing authenticity and individuality over trends, offering no seller fees.
  • Summary: Depop is positioned as a marketplace where personal style, from bold to minimal, is celebrated, encouraging authenticity. It caters to diverse sellers, including parents clearing out kidswear and curators. A key benefit is that there are no seller fees, allowing sellers to keep more money.
Ad Break: NewYork-Presbyterian The One
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(01:36:08)
  • Key Takeaway: NewYork-Presbyterian The One in Westchester offers expert adult and pediatric care from Columbia specialists in one location.
  • Summary: NewYork-Presbyterian The One is a new center for advanced healthcare in Westchester, New York. It provides seamless patient experience by housing specialists in cardiology, neurosciences, and cancer care together. World-class doctors from Columbia deliver expert care for the entire family.
Ad Break: Wonder Meal Delivery
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(01:36:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Wonder allows users to mix and match hundreds of chef-prepared dishes from various menus in a single order.
  • Summary: Wonder eliminates mealtime compromise by offering access to renowned chefs’ dishes delivered together in one order. Options range from poke bowls to filet mignon, all available via fast, free delivery or pickup. Wonder positions itself as the ‘cravings expert.’