On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Tools For Navigating Grief That Will Bring You Comfort When Nothing Else Can Ft. Kate Cassidy & Taylor Hill

December 24, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Healing from grief is not about getting over the loss, but learning how to carry the love forward in a new way, often found in small, consistent daily rituals. 
  • Forgiveness in grief is a choice to prevent pain from hardening your heart, not an excuse for the tragedy, allowing you to focus on the life lived rather than just the loss. 
  • Honesty and communication are vital tools for closure, as demonstrated by Curran Johar's experience of having crucial conversations with his father before his passing, highlighting the importance of saying what matters before it is too late. 

Segments

Grief Waves and Consistency
Copied to clipboard!
(00:03:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Grief manifests in unpredictable waves of numbness, sadness, and laughter, requiring trust in one’s gut and maintaining small, consistent daily routines for headspace.
  • Summary: Grief is not linear and involves fluctuating emotions, necessitating that individuals trust their intuition regarding what helps them heal. Maintaining a consistent, albeit simple, routine, such as one small activity per day like walking or baking, significantly aids one’s headspace. It is crucial to acknowledge that anger and crying are valid stages of grief.
Finding Signs After Loss
Copied to clipboard!
(00:04:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Seeing signs from a lost loved one, like specific numbers or symbols, can provide profound comfort and a feeling of connection, validating their continued presence.
  • Summary: The experience of seeing signs, such as the repeated appearance of the angel number ‘four,’ serves as a powerful confirmation that the departed person is still present and listening. These signs can appear in unexpected ways, like on a McDonald’s happy meal lid maze, offering light during intense anger or disappointment. Believing in signs helps maintain a connection, making the lost person feel ‘far, but not too far.’
Loneliness and Constant Reminders
Copied to clipboard!
(00:12:38)
  • Key Takeaway: The hardest part of loss is facing the reality of never seeing the person again, leading to pervasive loneliness where everything, including positive experiences, constantly triggers memories.
  • Summary: The transition from 24/7 companionship to permanent absence is difficult to process, leading to intense loneliness. Every activity, from drinking a specific coffee to visiting a familiar city, serves as a reminder of the person who is missing. Even experiences the loved one would have enjoyed become painful reminders of unshared moments.
Forgiveness and Resilience
Copied to clipboard!
(00:16:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Choosing forgiveness and gratitude after tragic loss strengthens faith and resilience by refusing to let anger and bitterness consume one’s life or define the creator.
  • Summary: Nicole Avant chose to strengthen her faith rather than let tragedy cause her to veer away, viewing life’s trials as inevitable for everyone, not just the faithful. Forgiveness was an active choice to cast off the burdens of anger and fury, preventing self-sinking, while still not condoning the harmful behavior. Focusing on the beautiful life lived, rather than the tragic final moments, is a daily choice that shifts perspective from ‘but’ to ‘and.’
Focusing on Life Lived
Copied to clipboard!
(00:24:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Shifting the focus from the trauma of the final moments to the entirety of the life lived, using ‘and’ instead of ‘but,’ allows one to hold both shock and celebration simultaneously.
  • Summary: It is natural to obsess over how a loved one was lost, which is often the shortest part of their existence, but one must consciously choose to focus on the years they lived. The shift from saying, ‘This happened and it’s tragic, but I can’t smile,’ to ‘This happened and it’s tragic, and I will celebrate her life,’ enables the integration of trauma and beauty. Focusing on the positive contributions and energy of the person who passed provides a constructive path forward.
Closure Through Honest Conversations
Copied to clipboard!
(00:28:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Having honest, difficult conversations about regrets, failures, and life during a terminal diagnosis provides profound closure, contrasting sharply with the lingering pain of those who avoid such talks.
  • Summary: Curran Johar achieved complete closure with his father because the 10-month period following diagnosis allowed for open discussions about childhood, regrets, and career. His mother, unable to accept the situation, still lacks closure 20 years later because she could not engage in those necessary conversations. Communication today is essential for resolving trauma and resentment, as respect should facilitate closeness, not distance.
Honoring Invisible Losses
Copied to clipboard!
(00:38:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Losses such as miscarriage or the death of a pet are often minimized by others, yet they deserve the same validation and time for grieving as any other significant loss.
  • Summary: Grief is not limited to human loss; miscarriage and pet loss are significant and often isolating experiences that many people do not validate. Friends supporting someone through miscarriage should avoid platitudes and instead offer physical presence, holding space, and listening without demanding explanations or rushing the process. Patience is crucial for the grieving person, as healing from these losses is a roller coaster that must proceed at their own pace.